The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 44,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 16 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
If you have a narcissistic parent, then nothing of your own belongs to you. Not your mind, not your thoughts, not your feelings.
The narcissists feels entitled to control and own all of your things, both physical and mental.
When you have an idea you want to try that is different from theirs, they will put up a fight to make you change to their way of doing things. They have no right to d this. You are an adult with the same rights they have.
They do not ever see you as an adult, or as an individual with your own rights, gifts and talents.
They feel you are something they own and should control when you need controlling.
If you do not comply with their wishes, they will try to undermine you in any way they can.
Narcissistic parents have gone so far as to publicly shame their children, spread lies and gossip about them, and cause them to lose jobs and relationships.
They will take over responsibilities that are yours, and tell you it is for your own good, because you are inadequate.
This wears down your self esteem and effects how others see you. The narcissistic parent does not want you to shine independently from them.
If you do something well, they will claim the credit for it. Even if they did nothing but counter and interfere with something, they will still assume the credit.
If they disapprove of something you do, then they will punish you in the form of shunning. silent treatment, demeaning you, scapegoating you, or causing a mobbing effect from other family members, who they turn against you.
These are hurtful, malicious games, designed to keep them in the spotlight and you in the darkness, and under their shadow.
The narcissist is sure they are right all the time. They will never listen to your idea, your pint of view, or your circumstances. They do not care.
No contact is usually the best way to live.
Then you will have autonomy and be able to flourish and grow in ways you can not imagine while you are under their darkness.
If you cannot go no contact, then do your best to stick to your own ideas and plans.
Do not give in to the pleas of the narcissist or believe them when they call you abusive to them. It is a typical tactic designed to make you feel shame and guilt.
An unwelcome guest
That has stayed too long
All sorts of nonsense
Asked for too many refills
Topping off of the wine glass
Can you not see?
I am tired of your visit
Where is the reality and truth
to your dominating twisted world?
Posing as my friend, indeed !
In denial that I can’t see through you
And all your tired games
I am tiring of your words
Echoing off the walls in my head
Tiring of your agenda
Insidious, misdirected and unproductive
It is time for me to bid you good night
My familiar acquaintance
Somewhere there are open seas
Waves more powerful than any man
Dolphins playing together
Never minding any schedule or
The time on the clock
Time is stopped …yet still moving
Relative to the perception of
The particular creature or living thing
Is it in the pressing forward,
that we live?
Or in the moment …that suspends itself…
Stopping all clocks…
and defying the rules,
that humans have designed
To try to contain, explain, manipulate,
rule over, control and wield time…
Like a sword or a crude tool
Is time less powerful than the ocean?
Can we contain the waves ?
Or make them stop undulating?
With all of our clocks, wristwatches,
calendars and planners
We have lost truth and importance
Priority, patience and resilience…
Compassion and empathy
Intimacy and detachment
There has been a delusion
Created by people we never met
And taught to our brains
Filed and coded into the subconscious
But it is wrong in important ways
The arrogance of man to define time
And attempt to rule over it
In such superficial ways
For time is not without us…
It is within and part of us…
Our reality is a perception
And perception is our reality
Each perception somewhat unique
yet the same
To separate and detach from this delusion…
Created by others who want to rule you
Control you, manipulate you
And own you…
Would be truly powerful…
Time is a perception
Beyond understanding and control
Manipulated and controlled by your perception
Suffering from a painful deteriorating illness and expressing the darkness with words of a wonderful writer.
I used to love the feeling you get when waking up from your worst nightmare – that moment when you realise you’ve left the extreem anxiety and hopelessness behind and your eyes have come to a halt – when you can curl up all snug amongst the quilts and go back to sleep, knowing that when you wake everything will be okay.
Well, I’ve resounded myself to the fact this is a feeling I will never have again! The reality I’m in has become worse than any nightmare I’ve ever had and all hope is gone for making a recovery. I’m tired of of it all. Each day is becoming more and more of a struggle and I’m not sure I have the strength to live a full life like this – one where darkness is my home and the view from the other side gets more appealing by the…
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Good night to all. It is time for all good little insomniacs to go to sleep and this means me.
I set up an account with Writer’s Cafe for submitting poetry. You can visit me there at