Mask

I get you now !
You have no real smile
 
Just hundreds of variations
of…
 facial expressions
tones of voice
hand gestures
and right things to say
 
Stories to impress men
Words to captivate women
Threats to coerce employees
Lies to deceive everyone
 
Various identities 
to keep your life in boxes
So your lies won’t overlap
 
Six cell phones with different numbers
Seven email addresses 
At least four different companies 
 
That’s as far as I know
Maybe there are more…
 
Various online dating profiles 
A computer program to scan for prey…
 
Empaths
Codependents
HIghly Sensitives
Romantics
 
The innocent
The abused
The naive
And the lonely
 
The young ones
The old ones
And anyone in between
The poets 
The artists
And the ones who want to save you
 
You show a vulnerable side
That is nothing but an act
You make them feel your pain
But you are mirroring theirs back
 
You show them some compassion
From scripts inside your head
 
You repeat their own words back
That they forgot that they had said
 
They think you’re for real
A man that they could care for
Someone who needs their attention
And maybe mothering too
 
They know if they invest their time
Your love for them will be true
 
You train them all so well
To jump when you ring the bell…
Like Pavlov and his dog
Waiting for the food
You create a real addiction
Then make them beg for more
 
You let them paint the illusion
A dream from inside their mind
Exactly the way they picture it
A different mask for every crime
 
You become their favorite fantasy
Be anyone they want you to be
 
You lift them as high as you can
Upon your pedestal of gold
 
The higher you can lift them up
The farther they have to fall
 
And fall they will …
Make no mistake
 They won’t see it coming
Your skill has such grace…
 
You’ll come up behind them
Contempt on your face
 
You’ll yank out that stool
And cover all traces
That you ever planned it 
Or could hardly stand it
 
To play the role of vulnerable and weak
 
Now you are TOWERING 
Over your catch
 
Pour on the gasoline
And light up your match
 
Burning their hopefulness
And reasons for living
Corrupting their soul
Transfusing your sinning
 
You think…
“You thought you were winning?”
 
Ha!
 
Your face slowly changes
The expression is dark
 
She feels like she saw it once
In one of your glances
But it passed all too quickly 
And you covered with romances
 
She tries to beg forgiveness
As you tell her what she’s done
You project all of your sins
And she wants to give in
And confess to the crimes
You committed
 
But before she can speak
Your image just blackens
Becoming no more than a shadow in her mind
 
The terror in her nightmares
For so many nights to come
As she lies all alone filled with dread
 
She thought you were real
And that you could feel
Like the other men she had once known
 
But you wore a mask 
That she helped you to cast
As you once hung on her every word
 
And now there’s another 
Just waiting to instruct you
To create a new mask in every detail…
 
As you listen intently
The details are mentally filed
Your plan is being formed as you fashion a smile
 
She thinks you’re so sweet
And is utterly amazed
At how you share all her hopes 
And admire her dreams
 
As you hold up the mirror
And show her herself
It is a match made in heaven for sure
 
She wonders how she found someone
She has so much in common with
Someone who feels just the same
 
As you study her strength
And look for the cracks 
You will shove your knife through
All too soon
 
A brand new mask has been forged
For the new prey to love
And sacrifice all that she has for
 
You suck all her blood 
And you take all she has
With the promise that all will be repaid
 
You will buy her that house
With the white picket fence
That she carries the picture of
In the pocket of her dress
 
But she does not see
That you were a different person to me
 
And will make another mask
When you are done with this task
 
It’s all such a chore but you’ve done it before
 
One mask for each girl 
Let the games begin to twirl
They all end the same in the end
 

Two New Videos on Narcissistic Abuse

Get Back Up, Leave them Behind You

image chef bounce back

Image

2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 44,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 16 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Narcissistic Parents of Adult Children

image chef change you

If you have a narcissistic parent, then nothing of your own belongs to you. Not your mind, not your thoughts, not your feelings.

The narcissists feels entitled to control and own all of your things, both physical and mental.

When you have an idea you want to try that is different from theirs, they will put up a fight to make you change to their way of doing things. They have no right to d this. You are an adult with the same rights they have. 

They do not ever see you as an adult, or as an individual with your own rights, gifts and talents.

They feel you are something they own and should control when you need controlling. 

If you do not comply with their wishes, they will try to undermine you in any way they can.

Narcissistic parents have gone so far as to publicly shame their children, spread lies and gossip about them, and cause them to lose jobs and relationships.

They will take over responsibilities that are yours, and tell you it is for your own good, because you are inadequate.

This wears down your self esteem and effects how others see you. The narcissistic parent does not want you to shine independently from them. 

If you do something well, they will claim the credit for it.  Even if they did nothing but counter and interfere with something, they will still assume the credit. 

If they disapprove of something you do, then they will punish you in the form of shunning. silent treatment, demeaning you, scapegoating you, or causing a mobbing effect from other family members, who they turn against you.

These are hurtful, malicious games, designed to keep them in the spotlight and you in the darkness, and under their shadow.

The narcissist is sure they are right all the time. They will never listen to your idea, your pint of view, or your circumstances. They do not care. 

No contact is usually the best way to live.

Then you will have autonomy and be able to flourish and grow in ways you can not imagine while you are under their darkness.

If you cannot go no contact, then do your best to stick to your own ideas and plans.

Do not give in to the pleas of the narcissist or believe them when they call you abusive to them. It is a typical tactic designed to make you feel shame and guilt. 

Pillow Talk

Annie's Poetry

An unwelcome guest

That has stayed too long

Dribbling on

All sorts of nonsense

Asked for too many refills

Topping off of the wine glass

Can you not see?

I am tired of your visit

Where is the reality and truth

to your dominating twisted world?

Posing as my friend, indeed !

In denial that I can’t see through you

And all your tired games

I am tiring of your words

Echoing off the walls in my head

Tiring of your agenda

Insidious, misdirected and unproductive

It is time for me to bid you good night

My familiar acquaintance

Insomnia

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Time and Perception

Somewhere there are open seas

Waves more powerful than any man

Dolphins playing together

Never minding any schedule or

The time on the clock

Time is stopped …yet still moving

Relative to the perception of

The particular creature or living thing

Is it in the pressing forward,

that we live?

Or in the moment …that suspends itself…

Stopping all clocks…

and defying the rules,

that humans have designed

To try to contain, explain, manipulate,

rule over, control and wield time…

Like a sword or a crude tool

Is time less powerful than the ocean?

Can we contain the waves ?

Or make them stop undulating?

With all of our clocks, wristwatches,

calendars and planners

We have lost truth and importance

Priority, patience and resilience…

Compassion and empathy

Intimacy and detachment

There has been a delusion

Created by people we never met

And taught to our brains

Filed and coded into the subconscious

But it is wrong in important ways

The arrogance of man to define time

And attempt to rule over it

In such superficial ways

For time is not without us…

It is within and part of us…

Our reality is a perception

And perception is our reality

Each perception somewhat unique

yet the same

To separate and detach from this delusion…

Created by others who want to rule you

Control you, manipulate you

And own you…

Would be truly powerful…

Time is a perception

Beyond understanding and control

And yet…

Manipulated and controlled by your perception

 

 

 

 

Nothing but the Dark…

Suffering from a painful deteriorating illness and expressing the darkness with words of a wonderful writer.

 

aChronicPainLife...

I used to love the feeling you get when waking up from your worst nightmare – that moment  when you realise you’ve left the extreem anxiety and hopelessness behind and your eyes have come to a halt – when you can curl up all snug amongst the quilts and go back to sleep, knowing that when you wake everything will be okay.

Well, I’ve resounded myself to the fact this is a feeling I will never have again! The reality I’m in has become worse than any nightmare I’ve ever had and all hope is gone for making a recovery.  I’m tired of of it all. Each day is becoming more and more of a struggle and I’m not sure I have the strength to live a full life like this – one where darkness is my home and the view from the other side gets more appealing by the…

View original post 206 more words

Good Night

Good night to all. It is time for all good little insomniacs to go to sleep and this means me.

insomnia pic gloves cute

insomnia pic gloves nice

insomnia pic sleeping posi

Writer’s Cafe

I set up an account with Writer’s Cafe for submitting poetry. You can visit me there at

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/gentlekindness/1699274/

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