50 shades of gray, anxiety, depression, empowerment, inspirational, mental disorders, mental health, mental health blog, mental illness, mental illness blog, spirituality

Self Love – Reach for Your Potential


You are special and unique. 


You have just as much of a right to happiness as anyone else. 

Love Yourself

Self love is not the same as selfishness. In order to follow your calling and use your gifts, you need to love yourself for the unique spiritual being that you are. 

You can become depressed from having to resist your natural gifts and skills.

Others will attempt to suppress you from moving towards a higher spiritual state because you are a threat to them. 

When they put you down they are just trying to keep you under their foot. The stronger they react to you asserting your independence, the more of a threat they consider you. 

Do not think of their words as truth, if the words go against what you believe you can do.  Some people will lie and tell you that your dreams are wrong or that you do not have the skills to do things. 

Their words of discouragement are to make you disbelieve in yourself. Don’t let people like that tell you how to live. 

Be introspective and sit silently or however you can interact with yourself.

 See what gifts are inside of you.

What purpose do you feel called towards?

What values are the most important to you?

Follow what you believe in and put your gifts to the test.

You will be surprised what you can do when you go in the right direction of what you really believe in, rather than what other people want you to do.


50 shades of gray, abnormal psychology, abusive relationships, emotional abuse, life, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse

Busy Working on my YouTube Channel and Life Coaching

I have been busy making some videos today. I uploaded two new videos for the victims of narcissistic abuse, onto my YouTube Channel . 

How to Trust Again After Narcissistic Abuse
Realizing That the Narcissist Manipulated Your Reality

I have also been working on some materials for my Life Coaching business. I made some meditative affirmations audios, which are designed to rewire low self esteem issues, or at least get someone on the path to be able to rewire their own negative thought patterns into kinder, gentler ones.

I have also been working on taking an NLP course, which is very interesting. If you are interested in NLP you can get more information about it HERE, at Planet NLP.  It is used by Life Coaches to help people to make negative memories more manageable and for various other situations. NLP practitioners can help people to get into a certain state of mind for a job interview, or to get out of an undesirable state of mind. There are too many uses for it to mention here. 

Although I have not written anything new for the blog today, I did respond to  of my comments. I read some of your blogs as well.

I have been in contact with four different life coaching clients this week and have been feeling good about getting into that important work. I have always been the kind of person that has to work doing something to help people in order to be happy with work. I prefer to work one on one with people, and so this is a perfect calling for me and I am glad I ended up on this path.

I was going to make some flyers for guitar lessons today, but I am having issues with the printer. I have someone who will help me with that tomorrow, after  I get the oil changed in the car.

It is time for me to get the bunny a snack and then watch an episode of Hannibal before bed. I have to get up tomorrow to get the car into STS before it is too late to get the oil changed and the tires checked.

My brother in law was kind enough to assist me with the money for the oil change, which was very kind of him. He know I have been out of work and cannot afford anything but food and gas, since I am trying to space out my small amount of savings to get through until I am generating an income from my businesses.

It is almost time for all good little insomniacs to try to sleep.Try is the key word here. 

Blessings to all and to all a good night or merry Christmas or happy Easter or something like that 🙂


50 shades of gray, blogging, funny blog, poem, poetry

Silly Good Night Insomnia Poem

The time has come

It’s 3 o’clock

Throw out the gum

I lost my sock

I think I’m done

With all this fun

A poem here 

A comment there

I found my sock

I brushed my hair

This poem rocks

I set the clocks

Please don’t judge

This terrible sludge

I’m overtired

My brain expired

Two posts ago

Thoughts are slow

Sometimes I write funny

Sometimes  I write sad

Sometimes I feel torment

Sometimes I feel glad

This is my good night

I don’t know if it’s right

To torture my victims

With  horrible lines

If someone reblogs this

I might lose my mind

They’ll say

This is an example

of Annie’s best work

I would have to hunt them

And wipe off their smirk

I don’t really know

Why bad poetry flows

From my fingers right now

Where is my stuffed cow?

I need my soft blankets

To cuddle myself

The laptop must go

Back up on the shelf

The bunny was fed

 My words were all said

Till tomorrow again

I’ll pick up my pen

And write something fun

To make up for this one

Good night all my friends

Please come back again

50 shades of gray, 50 shades of grey, domestic abuse, domestic violence, fifty shades of gray, fifty shades of grey, free form poetry, mental abuse, mental illness, narcissist

I am Only Human …Poetry of Mental Abuse

Annie's Poetry

I am human

I am strong…

I am weak

I can feel

I can break

I can heal…

The pain..

In your body

In your mind

But I am human

You can take

What you need

But not too much

I can bleed

I can break

My mind

Can only take

An certain amount










Before it




And eventually…


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50 shades of gray, 50 shades of grey, child abuse, domestic abuse, domestic violence, fifty shades of gray, fifty shades of grey, free form poetry, life, poem, poetry, post traumatic stress disorder, ptsd

The Silent Voice of Victims of Abuse…poetry for mental healing




the silent


of the





The scars 


cover up




The sadness


our hearts




the terror

of our





the victim’s


goes away




the scars





50 shades of gray, 50 shades of grey, domestic abuse, domestic violence, fifty shades of gray, fifty shades of grey, mental health, mental illness

Domestic Abuse Victims do not Choose to be Abused

One of the main reasons I hate to talk about domestic abuse to people is that I will get the comment   “You chose to date an abusive person” or “why did you choose to be with someone who was abusive?” or “You must have known that they were likely to become abusive ”

No. I did not know he would be abusive. He was not angry and mean when we were first dating. There were no red flags that I was able to identify. (Maybe there were red flags but I did not  recognize them.)

The comment I hate the very most is “You called the situation to yourself. You did something that attracted that kind of person to you.”

Why would I do something like that? Why does there have to be something about me that “attracted ” them to me? That is the same thing as saying that I deserved the abuse. It is offensive and counterproductive to recovery from the trauma of domestic abuse.

People are are abusive look like everyone else. They usually appear to be a nice person. They very often appear to the friends and relatives of the victim to be a nice person.

When the victim mentions anything wrong with the relationship, their own friends often think they are overreacting or misconstruing things. It is hard to believe that this person could be angry and violent. They do not appear that way in general.

The victim of domestic abuse is conditioned by the abuser to feel like they deserve to be punished. They are verbally shamed and criticised so often that they feel undeserving of being treated well. Their self esteem has been crushed into tiny bits.

The victim stays in the abusive relationship because they do not have the self esteem required to leave. There are also financial entanglements that make it difficult to figure out how to leave.

In addition there are other mental health problems with the victim from the abuse that keep them stuck. They become fearful and have severe anxiety and usually fall into depression.

No one deserves to be abused simply because they do not break up with the abuser. It is more difficult to get out than people can picture. If someone has not been in that situation, they cannot really know how difficult it is.

There is a tremendous threat looming over their heads all the time. They are afraid to anger the abuser because there will be punishment and retaliation. If the person leaves, the abuser will possibly come after them to find them and bring them back or get revenge.

Escaping is just that. Escape. In order to plan an escape , there needs to be an ability to think clearly and make a plan and back up plans. This is very hard to do when your self esteem has been destroyed and you feel worthless.

The best thing is to get others to assist you. But even that is hard because it requires the clarity of mind and confidence to ask for help. It also requires the ability to trust oneself and to trust others. Trust is a difficult quality to access.

The victim trusted their partner not to abuse them. They loved someone who betrayed them in the worst possible way. It is very hard to trust anyone else, ever again.

As far as trusting oneself, it is difficult to. How can i trust myself , when I had such bad judgement to choose this person as a partner? How can I choose someone to help me now? How do I know I will not make the wrong choices?

These are just some of the issues the victim of abuse goes through. It is not their fault that they ended up in an abusive relationship. And they did not “choose” to be abused or to continue to be abused.

There is always hope, on the part of the victim, that the partner will love them again and stop being abusive, They want things to be good again, The abuser has made them feel like the incidents of anger and violence were their fault. So they feel that if they could just “be good enough” then the partner would love them again.

People that have not had their brains twisted around like this. do not understand how powerful the mental abuse is. There is no physical abuse without severe mental abuse.

It is like being a prisoner of your own twisted brain as well as the unspeakable fear of consequences.

This is why I do not speak to people about my past with domestic abuse. I very rarely tell anyone I know about it.

I could go a year without telling anyone, Then the first person I tell says “We are responsible for putting ourselves in these situations. Something about you must have allowed it to happen.”

Victims of abuse cannot heal, if people are going to tell them that it was their fault and that they must have chosen it. More awareness is needed about the cycle of mental abuse.