mental illness, music

RIP and Memories of David Bowie

I was a big David Bowie fan when I was a senior in high school and all throughout my  college years . I saw him in concert twice in the Baltimore area, including the Glass Spider Tour. He put his all into his concert and was thoroughly entertaining. He had a way of drawing the audience in and making you feel like you were part of the show.

I remember when you used to be able to check out vinyl records out from the public library. When I was a senior in high school I used to check out David Bowie records with my library cards, and dance around my living room to China Girl . Modern love and Fashion…..turn to the left ! ….fashion….turn to the right!….Fashion !

Of course there is Major Tom (Space Oddity_ and the awesome Suffragette City….ooohhhhh wam bam thank you mam ! 

Reise ins Labyrinth, Die
Reise ins Labyrinth, Die USA 1986 Regie: Jim Henson Darsteller: David Bowie Rollen: Koboldkoenig Jareth

Image credit HERE



 Labyrinth has always been a favorite movie of mine. I must have watched it 10 times over the years. Bowie was soooo cool as the Goblin King in that movie. I loved his trick with the globe he did magical things with as he passed it back and forth between his hands. The little worm with the English accent was so funny…..“Don’t go THAT way! NEVER go THAT way !”…..”If she’d o gone that way, she’d o gone straight to that castle !”

And then there was The Hunger, where Bowie played an aging vampire. This was a very good movie but way too sad for me. 

Anyway, this was my offering to David Bowie. I know it was a little later than I intended. 

depression, guitar, life, mental health, mental illness, music, poetry, songs out mental illness, suicude

Song for World Suicide Prevention Day I wrote yesterday – Everyone is Too Young for Suicide

This is my offering for World Suicide Prevention Day. I actually wrote this yesterday on September 10 which was the day. I was not able to upload it until  today. Enjoy the song and pass it along.



depression, life, mental illness, music, song about mental illness

Here to Stay ..Beautiful Song Lyrics about Mental Illness , Depression, Psychosis

This is the theme song from the end of the movie  Breaking Dawn, This was a great movie. I love this song and I am going to work on learning to play it on my guitar. Then I will post a video of me playing and singing it.

It is a thriller, mystery movie about mental illness. It delves into the minds of characters who have PTSD, C-PTSD, depression and psychosis. One of the main characters witnessed a violent scene as a child.

The  movie could be possibly triggering to some people. It takes place in a mental hospital. The main character is a medical student who is doing a practicum for abnormal psychology. She is assigned a particular man to work with.

As she is working with, it appears that she becomes drawn into his psychosis. It is hard to tell which reality is the real one.

Her teaching adviser,  tells her that she has gotten to close to the patient and that she needs to emotionally detach from him, if she is going to be able to make a proper diagnosis and pass the class.

The plot twists and turns and the ending is a surprise.

I believe that this song is supposed to depict the inner mind of a patient that has psychosis and is living in the mental institution. It is haunting and sad. I am not sure why, but the song really touches me. I feel like I relate to it on a deep, emotional level.

Here are the lyrics to the song.

I’ve been watchin’  the fans rotate

I’ve been watchin’  the leaflets turn

I’ve been watchin’ the plants, even though they’re  fake

And I’ve been thinkin ‘ about the things I’l never learn…

I’ve been watchin’ the stones below

I’ve been watchin’ the moves they make

I’ve been watchin ‘ the faces that they’ll never know

And I’ve been thinkin’ about what could be at stake…

So, who in the hell got up and re-rung the bell 

and tell me who am I fighting for

Give me your hand because I really can’t stand anymore

And I bored

But I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay…

I’ve been watchin’ the insects work

I’ve been watchin’ the lions sleep

I’ve been watchin’ the redemption of Captain Kirk

And I’ve been thinkin’ about how they can’t make me weep

Not for free…

So, who in the hell got up and re-rung the bell

and tell me who am I fighting for

Or give me a hand because I really can’t stand anymore

and I’m bored

But I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

I’m here to stay

acoustic guitar, life, music, rock and roll, rock music

Guitar Cover of Proud Mary by CCR

Proud Mary was written in 1969  by John Fogerty from the band Creedence Clearwater Revival, otherwise known as CCR.  John Fogerty was the lead guitarist and singer for Creedence Clearwater Revival.  The others members of the band include Tom Fogerty on rhythm guitar, Stu Cook on bass and Doug Clifford on the drums.

Solomon Burke made a cover of this song and changed the style to have a R&B style.  It had elements of gospel and a bit of a country flavor.  His version was played on the black radio stations and made the charts, during the same year that the CCR version was also on the recording hits charts.

John Fogerty loved Burke’s version of the song. He thought that Burke captured his original but also added a feeling of black social consciousness to his version. Fogerty said the following about Solomon Burke’s version of Proud Mary

“Two thousand miles away this man had crawled right up inside my head to learn what Proud Mary was all about. Sure it’s great when someone sings your song, but when he understands it, you listen like it was the first time”  Wikipedia

Tina Turner did an amazing version of this song in 1970. when she was still performing with her husband Ike Turner. She  later was divorced from her abusive husband and went on to become famous in her own right.

There have been many other versions of this song. Personally I love Tina Turner’s solo version of this song the best. I like it better than her version with Ike.

I have sung this song for many years and it has always been a favorite of mine to perform. I sang it in bands in high school and in college. I also performed it solo, when I was playing out in the bars in Fells Point MD. This was quite a few years ago.

free guitar lessons online, guitar lesson online, life, mental health, music

New Guitar With Annie Video – Relax Jam in E Minor for Mental Healing

I have posted a new guitar lesson video on youtube and also on the Guitar with Annie blog, which you can see here. 

This is a special video which is designed to give some ideas for how to create your own music in the key of E minor. There are two simple chords and a variety of right hand techniques given. The sounds of the guitar are explored. Many guitarists are not aware of all the different sounds that can be played on the guitar.

This jam is designed to be different each time the player does it. The ideas are designed to be mixed and matched for a unique creation every time.

The techniques are all shown as well as verbally described in the video.

The mental health focus of this particular jam video is relaxation and individual creativity. The ability to create something that is truly your own, and to make it fit your mood, can be beneficial for helping with depression and anxiety.

If you know anyone who has a guitar and wants to learn, please link this to them.

free guitar lessons, guitar, guitar blog, life, music, music lessons

Check it Out ..New Guitar with Annie Post – Free Guitar Lesson Video Posted on Youtube and the WordPress Blog

I just posted a free guitar lesson on my guitar with annie blog. You can see the lesson here. 

You can see me with my guitar and hear me singing. Even if you are not up for playing guitar, you may get a kick out of seeing the video. It is not often that we see each other “in person” so to speak.

The song is Leavin on a Jet Plane by John Denver, This lesson is for beginner to intermediate. If you are a brand new beginner with no experience with chords or chord diagrams, don’t worry. I am planning to make a post that explains about chords , how to place your fingers and how to read and understand the chord diagrams.

The bunny is hopping around in here somewhere. I was watching New Girl on Netflix. It is a very funny sitcom. That is what I was doing while I was making dinner. Then I did the guitar video.

I am trying to keep busy with projects being as my boyfriend broke up with me and I am struggling to emotionally get through the week. It was a devastating collapse of my brain for a few reasons. So, I thought since I have been meaning to record some lessons, this is a good week to start that.

So, check out the guitar blog and let me know if you have any suggestions for songs that you think a lot of people would like to learn. For Skype guitar lessons, I can learn whatever songs the student wants to do.  For the blog, we will stick with songs that will hopefully be ok for many people.

I still have a spot or two open for anyone who wants to do a tryout lesson or two, because I am still getting used to teaching via Skype. I will do a couple of more free lessons for people this week and next week, for anyone that wants to learn something on guitar  while I am learning the Skype.

I am also thinking of some other ideas for connecting musically over Skype, but the ideas are still forming in my brain. I will let you know what I am thinking as my thoughts come to me.

abnormal psychology, anxiety, depression, mental illness, music

Prison in Your Mind

Verse 1

Darkness settles over you

I reach out but I don’t feel you

There’s a prison in your head

From all the things the others said

Chorus 1

I want to reach out and hold you

I want to make you mine

I want to be your hero

I want to make the voices die

Verse 2

Dark fog fills your mind

There is nowhere you can hide

Cruel voices in your brain

Soon they’ll drive you completely insane

Chorus 2

I want to reach out and hold you

I want to make you mine

You can have my love if you want it

But you are lost in the prison in your mind


We can fight our demons together

Fly away just you and me

Unlock  the bars and leave together

Take my hand and walk beside me

Repeat Verse 1

Repeat Chorus 2

Lyrics and music by Annie

mental health, mental illness, music

I am Composing Today

I am composing today. I wrote a new song. It has been a long time since I wrote a song. I used to write more songs than poetry. Lately I have been “poetizing” LOL so I thought I had better get my guitar out for some air.

I have the lyrics here. I am finishing up the music now and I will record it and put the link here in a post for you. This song is more of a dark sound and a harder style than I used to write in. It came from inside of me so that must be where my brain is at lately (or today).

I am having a lot of trouble playing guitar today (and typing for that matter). The pinched nerves in my neck are making my hands very numb. I am almost out of neurontin so I have been rationing it, I tried to pick it up last night but the price almost caused me to pass out in CVS. So I have to check the web site for my discount card and find another store that has a cheaper price than that one.

My new song is called Prison In Your Mind. I am going to record an acoustic guitar version for you because that is what is at my disposal. In my head I am hearing a hard rock band sound. Maybe I can snag my ex brother in law to record with me sometime. Schedules are tricky to coordinate as you all know.

This is my break from music practice. I will be back to finish after I post the lyrics for you.


anxiety, davis sisters, depression, folk music, mental health, mental illness, music, spirituals, twelve gates into the city

Trying to get Back into my Music Again / Old Spirituals and Folk Music / Annie Plays Guitar and Sings

You would think that playing my music would help with anxiety but somehow it doesn’t. When I feel depressed it is hard for me to play. It makes it worse.But then I feel depressed that I don’t do what I love. I have been a musician since I was 15 and now I am 48.

I spent years learning and practicing. I would like to find a way to be able to play again. I am posting this in an effort to start again. Music used to be my life.

This is me playing guitar and singing Twelve Gates Into the City. I love old gospel music and folk music. I usually play rock music and old rock and roll but I always add some of these folk type songs into my repertoire.

davis sisters

Picture courtesy of Wikipedia. Ruth, Thelma, Audrey and Alfreda Davis sitting with Curtis Dublin.

The Davis Sisters founded their singing group in 1945. They were from Philadelphia, PA. They were one of the first singing groups to sing what was coined Hard Gospel. They signed their first recording contract in 1947.

Since that time this song has been a favorite of lots of folk singers. It has been covered by Joan Baez, Judy Collins, and Carly Simon and other female artists.

I love folk music. I have some other folk songs in my repertoire. I also sing rock and roll music and acoustic rock music.


anxiety, art, codependence, education, Galileo, gandhi, inventions, inventors, music, philosophy, politics, science, Thomas Jefferson

The Truth Will Set Us Free

Your truth is what you know it to be. Do not let anyone manipulate you into believing what they say is the truth. You have your own mind and your own heart. You have your own point of view and way of seeing the world.

Your way of viewing the world may be different that other people. It may even be very unusual. You may feel like you are the only person in a situation that perceives the truth the way you do.

Your truth is valid. It is your truth. The other people could be completely wrong in their perspective of a situation.

Many people just go along with what everyone else says is the truth. However the masses see it or however the social group sees it, they internalize that reality.

Your reality is your reality. If you see that something is unjust, it very well may be. Just because the others say it is justice does not mean they are correct. Hold onto your beliefs.

Sometimes someone will tell you that you handled a situation the wrong way. It was not the way they would have handled it. It was not in their best interest. It was not within the “rules” or the “status quo”

Screw the status quo. Think for yourself.

When everyone goes along with everyone else, no one thinks at all. When individuals stop thinking for themselves, they put their liberty in harms way.

We are individuals. We have various perspectives on things. Sometimes two people with a different perspective on a situation can come to a very wise solution if they hear each other out.

There may be truth in each point of view that the other person did not think of. In listening with respect and considering each other’s point of view as intelligent, they can come up with a better plan together than they could alone.

When people blindly follow the masses, there is a lack of individuality. There is a lack of perspective and creativity.

All the great inventions and visions came out of creative thought and an ability to think outside the box. Gandhi was a visionary and a revolutionary. He could see the truth and what had to be changed. He stood by his beliefs.

Galileo discovered that the earth revolves around the sun. The church at the time taught that everything revolved around the earth. This is called geocentrism.

The people all believed that the earth was the center of the universe because that it what the church said.

If Galileo had been like the other and just believed without looking, then he never would have discovered the truth. He wanted to see for himself. he invented a spyglass (the predecessor of the telescope) in order to view the heavens. Through his observation and calculations, he discovered the truth.

His truth was in conflict with the church. The church was very powerful and did not like to be made a fool of. They felt that they would be discredited by his findings. They wanted people to follow the church blindly.

They arrested Galileo and put him on a trial that was to prove that Galileo was a heretic for speaking against the beliefs of the church. He was found guilty and sentenced to house arrest for the remainder of his life.

Of course years later, we are glad for all the discoveries he made, including the telescope and the thermometer. He was an original thinker and looked at things from a different perspective from the status quo.

All the great music, art and inventions were created by people who could think outside the box.

When people stop thinking for themselves, no one thinks at all.

What a dull place the world would be without the creators and the inventors and the visionaries.

Thomas Jefferson was a visionary and a great leader. He wove a tapestry of some of the most beautiful and inspired words ever written. The Declaration of Independence is about the most beautiful writing you will ever read. If you have never read it, please do.

Even though this is true, the masses do not accept people who think differently than they do. The government fears people who can think for themselves. The government that we have at this time wants people to follow blindly.

Original thinkers, people who look for the truth are a threat to the status quo.
But don’t let that stop you. The world needs people who can think and see truth.

God bless the original thinkers and those who can think outside the box. God bless the visionaries and those who stand up for justice and liberty.

Look at the rules and consider them but evaluate each situation for yourself with your own mind.

God gave us our minds to think, not to just follow what others say is right.

The truth will set us free in our minds and our hearts.