mental health, mental illness, self-help

Minimalst Lifestyle

Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus are the speakers in this Ted Talk. I really enjoyed their story of how they began their adventure that lead to them creating The Minimalists web site.

They began as bloggers, just like us. They were inspired to start the blog as a way to share their experiences about transforming their highly materialistic, anxiety ridden lifestyle to one of a minimalist style.

Joshua was the first one of the pair of friends to begin to live in the minimalist way. Ryan was being overloaded by his lifestyle and turned to his best friend to find out what it was that seemed to be making him happier.

When Ryan heard what Joshua had to say, the two of them went to work and boxed up Ryan’s entire house full of possessions. To find out what they did next, watch the Ted Talk. It is quite a story.

The blog was started and little by little they got more followers. Now they are in demand as speakers, and have been featured on  ABC, CBS, NBC, BBC, TODAY, NPR, TIME, Forbes, The Atlantic, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and National Post.

They live in Missoula, Montana and both of them had high paying power jobs, and had accumulated lots and lots of stuff, as well as lots of bills.

These guys transformed their entire lifestyle, as well as started a lucrative business teaching other people how to live a simpler, less stressful lifestyle.


Sunshine is a Free Helper for Depression

I am posting this as it is pouring rain today LOL


The sun is beginning to shine again. We have been cooped up indoors for many months now. The lack of sunshine had probably made you feel more depressed.  Being cooped up indoors,  has probably caused your body to go into a sort of hibernation state.

It is common for us to gain weight during the winter and to develop more pain in the joints and less agility in the muscles.

Even if we do not really feel like going outside, especially if we are struggling with depression, the sunshine is good for you.The lack of sunshine increases depression and it also depletes the body of much needed vitamin D.

“The most natural way to get vitamin D is by exposing your bare skin to sunlight (ultraviolet B rays). This can happen very quickly, particularly in the summer. You don’t need to tan or burn your skin to get vitamin…

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Abusive relationship, domestic abuse, life, mental illness

Gaslighting – “everyone abuses me”

Breaking up …

Insignificant other – I want to break up with you

Blogger – Really? Why?

IO – I just want to

B – What is your reason? What is the story behind it?

IO– Goodbye

B- That will only make a 20 word post. Come back here, you selfish prick

IO – Why do you always have to know why about everything?

B– because the “why” matters. It gives things meaning. You can’t just cause random pain and injury and refuse to give someone closure. ..or at least the courtsey of a decent blog post, you ass.

IO- Yes I can. I can do whatever I want to do. The universe centers around me, not your fucking blog

B- I hate when you say that “F” word. It makes me feel disrepected

IO- I never say that word. You are thinking of someone else. You have some ptsd about your past, and you project old situations onto me.

Your bipolar disorder makes you out of touch with reality. You misinterpret things i say

I am always trying to build your self confidence. That is what i believe in. You should know that by now


IO– you are always blogging when I am on the phone with you. I told you many times….i can hear you clicking the keys..

B– I tried to type softly

IO– that is deceptive and disrespectful

B– while you were on the phone with me, you would tell me to wait…while you took calls on your other cell phone…

talked to other people for 15 minutes at a time…went to the drug store and talked to the clerk…

went to the deli and ordered food and told me it was too loud in there for you to hear …you i just made me wait for you…listen to you interact with other people. ..wait ..wait…

IO- you have to wait for me. I am the center of the universe. There are times to stop blogging and pay attention to your partner

B– I would have stopped anytime, when you turned your attention onto me and our conversation

IO– you were abusive and insensitive. You did not focus on me

B- I stayed on the phone for 4 ot 5 hours at a time, because you asked me too, and sacrificed things i had to do

IO– you never sacrificed enough. I am the center. I need attention. I could hear you clicking. .on the keys..and not paying attention to me

B– I always stopped when you turned back to our conversation. How can i just sit and do nothing for 5 to 8 hours a day, while i like listen to you do other things



IO- because that is your role

B– why are you breaking up with me?

IO– why do you have to always bring everything back to you? Everything Isn’t About You !

B– This break up makes a sucky blog post. Can’t you give a reason that makes sense or even a proper good bye?

IO– yes obviously I could. I do not feel like expending that much effort on you. You are not worth it.

B– I see

IO– now i will not say that i am leaving you. I am not breaking up with you right now.

You can wait and wonder. The more confusion there is, the more you will suffer.

Lets look at houses on the internet. I want you to show me a beautiful house, so that i can tell i will buy it for us to live in.

But one day i will randomly hang up the phone and never call you again. There will be no argument, no misunderstanding…well unless i fabricate something.

There will be no warning whatsoever. You will never see it coming.


IO– i told you…sooner or later, everyone turns on me.

B-i don’t do that

IO- sooner or later, all of the women turn on me..they say i abused them..when in reality they abuse me. You will do the same.

My last girlfriend sent a lawyer to break up with me for her


IO- don’t take her side! See i told you…it is already beginning. .everyone turns on me..

B-are we breaking up or not? I would like clarification

IO- that sounds like a demand. Everything is not about you….i can hear you clicking the keys on your laptop..

B- no I stopped earlier in the conversation, when you said it bothered you

I have always tried to do what you ask

IO- that makes you look good, doesn’t it ?  Everything is not about you !
Everything is about ME

B– yes i know

IO– when i break up with you, you wont see it coming. I will hang up in mid conversion. I will never answer your calls again
but until then I love you so you must serve me

Stop clicking the keys…i want you to listen and pay attention while i put the phone down on the bed, scream and yell into my empty apt, until it hurts your brain. ..throw things and trash my apt…

If you stop listening. .or tune it out by clicking on those keys, then i will threaten to stab these scissors through my neck

B are there any scissors there?

IO you will never know. That is the point. It is worse for your mental stability, if you have to wonder if there are scissors or if i am intentionally fucking with your head..

B– i hate when you say that word fucking

IO– i never say that word. You are having ptsd and your brain is projecting old relationships and blaming me.

You are being abusive. Just like all of my other girlfriends. Demanding. ..telling me what i can say..

everyone turns on me…


Blame Shifting

Annie's Poetry

I remember you

and the connection I felt

a best friend

always there for me

in good times

and bad times

supportive and encouraging…

It lasted for a short time

but I kept holding onto

the person you were in the beginning

even after 

you began to be cruel

and critical

making me feel inadequate


turning me into a monster

you said I  was selfish

for not being there for you enough…

Yet I was always there

my heart was always with you

I answered all your calls

even at 4am

dropped everything for you

every time…

Yet I was the abusive one?

You said I was the abuser

the uncaring one,,,

But the uncaring one 

was you

I never knew

did not want to see

that the abused one

was actually me

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family, parenting

Day After the Prom and a Short Story

I am awaiting the return of my 18 year old to let me know how her prom evening went. I have not seen her yet, but I think she will be back in a couple of hours. She has been out with her boyfriend an his family today.

He is a good kid and I am glad that she found someone who always treats her with respect . He is intelligent and kind. The other day, he was waiting for her while she was fussing about not finding the right clothes.

She was in her room and came out every few minutes in a different outfit. He would say she looked great and then she would say “Oh no yuck. This outfit won’t  work”

It was funny but she was very frustrated and upset. He said nice things about each thing she came out in. She was annoyed that she could not find her favorite slacks. She came out in dresses and all kinds of other things, claiming she had nothing to wear.

He told her she would look beautiful in anything and they were only going to his aunt’s house to the pool, so they would not be wearing the clothes, they would be wearing bathing suits.

I just chatted with him about all kinds of things, to keep him company while he was waiting for her.

I apologized for her taking so long to be ready. He was so sweet and said “It’s okay. I have no where to go. I planned to spend the day with her and she is right there, even if I can just hear her from behind the door and see her popping out now and then.”

All of our daughters should have someone like this.

Actually she just texted me. She had fun and is on her way back.