If you have a narcissistic parent, then nothing of your own belongs to you. Not your mind, not your thoughts, not your feelings.
The narcissists feels entitled to control and own all of your things, both physical and mental.
When you have an idea you want to try that is different from theirs, they will put up a fight to make you change to their way of doing things. They have no right to d this. You are an adult with the same rights they have.
They do not ever see you as an adult, or as an individual with your own rights, gifts and talents.
They feel you are something they own and should control when you need controlling.
If you do not comply with their wishes, they will try to undermine you in any way they can.
Narcissistic parents have gone so far as to publicly shame their children, spread lies and gossip about them, and cause them to lose jobs and relationships.
They will take over responsibilities that are yours, and tell you it is for your own good, because you are inadequate.
This wears down your self esteem and effects how others see you. The narcissistic parent does not want you to shine independently from them.
If you do something well, they will claim the credit for it. Even if they did nothing but counter and interfere with something, they will still assume the credit.
If they disapprove of something you do, then they will punish you in the form of shunning. silent treatment, demeaning you, scapegoating you, or causing a mobbing effect from other family members, who they turn against you.
These are hurtful, malicious games, designed to keep them in the spotlight and you in the darkness, and under their shadow.
The narcissist is sure they are right all the time. They will never listen to your idea, your pint of view, or your circumstances. They do not care.
No contact is usually the best way to live.
Then you will have autonomy and be able to flourish and grow in ways you can not imagine while you are under their darkness.
If you cannot go no contact, then do your best to stick to your own ideas and plans.
Do not give in to the pleas of the narcissist or believe them when they call you abusive to them. It is a typical tactic designed to make you feel shame and guilt.
GentleKindness 