Self Love is not Selfishness

Thoughts on Depression and C-PTSD from emotional Abuse

Depression can make you feel like staying in bed and not interacting with other people. You know that if you go out of the house, you will feel different and out of place.

Other people will not understand your inner world. You feel like you will be forced to put on a mask to fit in. It is difficult to function.

You get more and more internalized. So you self isolate, and limit your social interactions. This is understandable because certain kinds of interactions can be emotionally traumatizing.

You feel like the one person that is out of place in the world.  You sit alone and hear the thoughts that come up from your subconscious. Thoughts that there is something wrong with you.

Some of the feelings you get are from emotional flashbacks. There are things that happened and ways you were rejected during childhood that cause your subconscious to store these kinds of feelings.

If you can identify the false beliefs behind your thoughts, then the feelings can be sat with and calmed. You were not born feeling like you did not belong in the world. These thoughts were taught to you….even brainwashed into you.

When you have a feeling that is painful, like hopelessness…try to discover what core belief that thought is driven by. The belief might be that you are not as good as other people. .. Or that the world is unsafe.

If you are carrying the core belief that you are less adequate than other people…that is a bad programming. These things are programmed into children who do not have emotionally supportive childhoods.

Think back to your childhood and if you were made to feel insignificant, unworthy, unneccesary, or anything else negative. If your thoughts and feelings were dismissed, criticized, or made fun of then you are probably carrying CPTSD…complex post traumatic stress disorder.

People with C-PTSD often get depressed or feel extreme anxiety. You may have trouble keeping up with other people or feeling normal.

Those false core beliefs that were fed to you can be re-programmed. You need to question each one of those negative beliefs about yourself. Be like a scientist attempting to disprove a theory.

If you feel that something is wrong with you compared to other people, then ask what things are Right about you. Write them down. Engage in activities that prove you are as good or better at those activities, than other people are.

Look at the qualities of your parents and whomever fed those negative, false beliefs to you, about yourself. What kind of people are they?

Would you consider those people reliable critics? Did tbey have any agenda in which lowering your power would have helped them?

If those people told you something bad about the character of a person you love right now….would you believe their opinion without question? Or is their opinion not reliable?

You can begin to go out and interact with people in small increments. Go over your present state of mind, before you go out…and before you leave your car. You can just sit in your car for a few minutes and listen to music that calms or peps up your nervous system.

How you feel when you interact with others is based on the current state of your nervous system, how much sleep you have had, your mental state, and your blood sugar.

You can think of those categories and assess each of them, before you go into a store or any other place. Then you will feel more in touch with yourself and have some ways to help yourself.

If you are interested in learning. NLP State Management techniques, you can send me a message via my web site

Gentlekindnesscoaching.com

For information about C-PTSD and how emotional abuse causes depression and anxiety disorders, join us at the gentlekindness facebook page.

You are special. Your gifts and personality are an important part of the puzzle of humanity. You are connected with all living things in an important way.

You matter. You have a unique voice that other people need to hear. You have special characteristics that someone really needs right now.

You have innate value.

Namaste,

Annie. Gentlekindnesscoaching.com

Gentlekindness facebook page

Annie Mimi Hall youtube channel

Dance Like No One’s Watching

Benefits of Play and Imagination

Being a serious, mature adult who works all the time  is over-rated.  

While you have to maintain responsibility for your survival by paying the bills, the perception that you have to “act like a grown up” all the time is simply that…a perception. 

Who made the rule that adults cannot have fun?

You can buy some balloons and pat them up into the air . You can watch a goofy movie and roll on the floor laughing in your room. You can buy toys that you like and have them for your own amusement and comfort. 

If the people in your life would ridicule you for acting like a kid, then maybe you need to meet some new people….ones that think kids are great. The old adage that children should be seen and not heard is ridiculous. 

Who decides what an adult is? Other than keeping up with your responsibilities and not hurting anyone , what are the rules and who wrote them? 

What things did you enjoy doing as a child? Are there really any rules against doing some of them…just for fun?  

Is it childish or irresponsible to enjoy an activity …just because you want to?  Why can’t you allow some time just to be silly or to use your imagination?

When did the word ” childish” come to have negative connotations?

Why is IMAGINATION considered a “childish thing? 

Some of the most brilliant contributors to our world have been people will a great ability to IMAGINE. The imagination and playfulness of a child are valuable skills that are under-estimated by most adults. 

Explore new possibilities and play them out in your imagination.

Using imagination and vision can be the way you will come up with very creative solutions to problems that are in your life. Thinking outside the box and being able to imagine possibilities will create new options for  you. 

Taking time to play, in some way which activates your imagination, can benefit you in ways you cannot perceive right now. There are possibilities all around you and new ways to do things that you have not tried because you are not used to them. 

We tend to see what is familiar and what our subconscious brain has been conditioned to see. 

There is a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System.

It is the part of your brain that filters information from your environment. There is far more information around you at any given time than your conscious brain can process. 

What you tend to think about and believe is what your reticular activating system scans for in the environment. Then what you see becomes proof of what you believe. 

Your brain looks for proof of what you already think is true.

So basically even if you believe something negative about yourself, your brain will scan for proof in the environment that it is true.

If you believe that you are bad in social situations, then your brain looks for proof that people are not responding to you in the way you want them to. You may completely miss the parts of interactions where someone really likes you. 

Take a break to do something fun.

Take some time to play and it will allow your brain and emotions to relax for a little while. When you get back to dealing with life problems again, you will be able to see things with some of your negative filters turned off. 

Play is not just for kids.

Think of what you used to like to do as a kid. There is some activity that you loved then that you can still do now. Use your imagination and let go of preconceptions. 

Imagination and creative thought will allow you to see new possibilities.  Try something different like re-inventing yourself in a way that you picture you would feel more powerful. 

Re-invent yourself. 

What would you be like of you could start all over again as a child? How would you behave and how much confidence would you have? Go to a place where no one knows you and pretend you are that version of yourself. 

You have nothing to lose. The more you can use your imagination, the more you can become more authentic to who you really are.

Let go of the negative labels that other people have put upon you.

Most of the negative beliefs you have about yourself were something that another person told you. If you have ever been exposed to emotionally abusive people then there were some viruses put into your system. 

These viruses tell you that you are not going to be able to achieve great things. These viruses are controlling your feelings about yourself and your potential. 

Start small and see what you can do. The future is written by you …and you control your own story. You can question any beliefs that are keeping you down. 

You can change your mind about what you think is true. 

Taking time to play can bring you back to that magic that children have to be able to explore new ideas. If your old beliefs and behaviors are not getting you where you want to be, then what will it hurt to try something new?

Welcome to Our Little Get Together

Good Morning.This is a scheduled post because I wanted something up before I woke up. Many of you are awake in the morning before I am. I have a late night insomniac kind of schedule , but I wanted to get things started. 

I would love it if you want to let me know what you have planned for today, whether it means you are staying home to watch Netflix alone or if you are going to be dealing with lots of people. 

You can leave your plans in the comments section or you can write a post and put the link here. We can all connect in and out throughout the day. If anyone is having a particularly difficult time then you can connect with us here. 

This is where we begin. I will check your comments when I wake up. Good morning  to all. Happy Thanksgiving Day or Happy GentleKindness Blog Meet up Day, whichever makes you feel good. 

Talk to you soon, 

Annie ❤

 

Thanksgiving Meet-up on Gentlekindness Blog

On Thursday  you are invited to connect with all of us here. Thanksgiving is the first of the holiday season and can trigger depression and anxiety in many people. Others are feeling lonely during the holidays.

If you are feeling alone or just want to connect, you can come here on Thanksgiving. I will create posts during the day that you can leave comments and also leave links to your own posts.

If you want to contribute a Guest Post , A Poem, or a Letter , feel free to do so. If you want me to post something for you, you can contact me at michelemimimish@gmail.com

If you have posts that you want to post the links to, you will see posts you can put them in the comments section of.

Artwork, poetry , details of what you are doing or how you are feeling are all welcome. Everyone is encouraged  to leave kind, thoughtful comments on anything that others leave.

 

Do the Right Thing – This Song Spoke to Me Today

 

I never like the videos that they put together for these songs, so just listen and read the words. Your own experiences will fill in the meaning for you. 

Lyrics to Divisionary (Do the Right Thing ) by Ages and Ages

Do the right thing, do the right thing
Do it all the time, do it all the time
Make yourself right, never mind them
Don’t you know you’re not the only one suffering

I see you up again wandering so diligent
Crossing your t’s as though it weren’t irrelevant
They say formality, this is what they really meant:
They can be the walk, we can, we can be the pavement

Do the right thing, do the right thing
Do it all the time, do it all the time
Make yourself right, never mind them
Don’t you know you’re not the only one suffering

I see you up again wandering so diligent
Crossing your t’s as though it weren’t irrelevant
They say formality, this is what they really meant:
They can be the walk, we can, we can be the pavement

You are Enough – You Have Enough Within You

Holidays for People with Mental Illness, Depression, Anxiety Disorder

The holiday season can be very difficult for people with mental illness. Depression and anxiety can be triggered and it is hard to deal with all the happy people who are excited about the holiday planning. 

You have to take care of yourself. Don’t feel guilty to say “no” to things if it is too much for you. Everyone may not understand and some people will react to you by trying to make you feel shame or guilt.

People who try to guilt you into doing things are not the people who are the best people for you to be around, especially during the holidays. If you realize that the worst that will happen by saying no is that they will “react” to you, then you can endure that. 

People that try to get emotional reactions out of you are just manipulators. They are not on your side and doing things just to avoid disappointing them is not necessary. 

Unfortunately there are those people who will do more that just try to evoke an emotional reaction out of us. Some people will take more steps to make our lives miserable when we do not do what they ask. 

If you are dealing with someone like this then you are in a very difficult situation. Just try to minimize the amount of things you do for them and avoid what you can. 

Take breaks for yourselves and do things just because you like to do them. You can take yourself to the movies or to the local diner for hot chocolate. You can take a Netflix break and watch a funny movie or tv show. 

 

A warm shower or bath can be very relaxing and no one can disturb you. Find ways to help yourself to feel calm and to feel like you matter. You can make your own traditions for the holidays and forget about what you “always do.” 

Doing things the same way every year is not a rule, it is just a habit. If you would be happier making changes to your usual holiday routine then do so. There is no rule that you have to be miserable or that you have to spend all your time making everyone else happy. 

People get extreme stress during the holidays because they are trying to live up to other people’s expectations or even their own expectations. Set you bar lower, so that you will not expect things to be a certain way. 

Truthfully these are just days like any other days. Society and your family has done the job of putting expectations on you. Keep in mind that a lot of it has to do with the commercial companies wanting to make money. It is a lot of hype that you are not obligated to fall into. 

The holidays should be about peace and serenity. They should be a time to calm, rest and spiritual connection. Find your peace during this season however it is the most meaningful to you.

 

 

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