Untherapy – Compassionate Conversation and Holistic Treatment for Emotional Wounds

What is “untherapy”? Untherapy is what I am calling one of the types of life coaching that I do. It is basically compassionate two-way dialogue between the coach and the client, in order to provide validation and kindness, which the client is in desperate need of in their lives.

Although untherapy is absolutely not a replacement for treatment by a mental health professional, untherapy can provide a complement to traditional, clinical therapy.

While clinical therapists are licensed to delve into past trauma and use CBT to deal with those traumas, the life coaching practitioner is able to talk to the client about current issues and mental blocks that are inhibited them from moving forward with their lives.

We can often get into times where we feel like we are carrying a weight our shoulders and we just cannot get traction to move forward with our lives. While life coaches cannot diagnose any mental illness, we can help with issues like perfectionism and anxiety that are inhibiting you from doing things you need to do in life.

Life coaching can help you with things like feeling stuck, lack of motivational energy and lack of clarity due to brain fog from anxiety.

We are trained to guide the client to find the best path for them, by listening and identifying key issues that are creating problems for you. When you are in the midst of a dark reality tunnel, it can be very difficult to see clearly enough to be able to identify these things on your own.

Validation is an extrememly important need for people these days. Especially people who are carrying C-PTSD from childhood abuse and trauma, need validation about their reality. Years of bad programming by care givers can cause disorientation,  low self esteem and lack of the ability to self generate feelings of self worth.

Life coaches are able to deal with self esteem, and self confidence issues, as they relate to present time situations.

So whereas therapists deal with the past situations which caused mental health problems, life coaches can offer compassionate conversation about your feelings and thoughts in the present time, in order to help you get some traction to move forward onto the path you want to create as you walk it.

I am calling my particular flavor of life coaching “untherapy” because I feel it is different, yet can be complementary, to traditional therapy.

I can speak with you in a less climical and more equal kind of way. The traditional therapist is trained to keep an emotional distance from the client wheras I am under no rules to keep emotionally distanced from you.

I am allowed to share any personal stories of mine that may help to validate and guide you. Life coaches are not restrcted to stay at arms length from the client and make you feel like a “sick” patient.

Just because someone has experienced a traumatic past does not mean there is something innately wrong with them.

There are just natural reactions of the brain to put up blocks, in order to protect you from further injury. These blocks sometimes served us in the past and are now inhibiting our ability to move forward and blossom.

The spiritual side of you is just as important as the mental and emotional sides.

Spiritual coaching is a branch of life coaching that deals with helping you find your inner spiritual voice, and to overcome any vibrational blocks to your spiritual healing of yourself. This is another option of untherapy. We will call it Spiritual Untherapy or Vibrational Untherapy.

I will be posting future posts about this new concept of coaching. I feel the word “coaching” sounds like something to do with sports, and that is why I wanted a different way of communicating the new compassionate based life coaching, by using the term untherapy.

I am interested to get comments on this post to see if I have fully explained this, in a way everyone can understand and relate to. I believe there is a distinct lack of compassion and validation for people that suffer from certain issues, such as C-PTSD and PTSD.

There are holistic methods to help with PTSD, that fall outside of traditional therapy. I can guide you through NLP imagery and hypnosis, for anxiety reduction and even physical pain management.

If you are interested in finding out more about my services, please visit my web site at gentlekindnesscoaching.com

I am thinking of doing some promotional “freebe” kinds of things coming  up at that web site, so please add your name to the emailing list, in order to be sent any new promotions that you may enjoy participating in.

Many blessings for peace and happiness,

Annie💕

PTSD and Problems with Executive Function – Aftermath of Mental / Emotional Abuse

Red Flags of a Psychopathic Narcissist

When you are with a devil of a partner, you do not see their dark side at first. The really good predators are skilled at creating a shared psychosis…an illusion that you are two perfectly matched souls….destined to be together

When you are with an authentic partner, who has true compassion for you, they do not feel the need to state things like….

I have compassion for you.

I don’t usually have compassion for other people, but I have compassion for you.

Other people do not really understand you or see you. But only I see the real you.

No one sees your talent but me.

I am the only one who has really loved you.

I am the only one who could really love you.

You are so different from other people that I am the only one who understands you.

You are too special to be with anyone but me.

No one will love you the way I do.

You are the only one who can save me.

I would die without you.

You would die without me.

You and I do not belong in this world.

We are nothing without each other.

You can only do great things if you are with me.

I will kill myself if you leave me.

I will kill myself if you….

I will kill myself if you don’t….

My life was nothing before you.

You don’t need anyone but me.

Your friends are not really your friends. Only I am.

Everyone always lets me down in the end.

Everyone disappoints me sooner or later.

Every relationship I have ends up with them abusing me. You will do the same.

Everyone leaves me. So will you.

No one is willing to give me what I need.

I never get enough help from anyone.

People should help me and do what I ask, without wanting something in return.

If you really loved me you would not expect things in return for doing everyhing I ask you to do.

How can I believe you love me if you are not waiting by the phone when I call?

How can you do things for other people when I am so needy?

How can you do things for yourself (like take a shower) without checking that I am okay first?

I should not have to be there for you to prove my love.

Love is about you being there for me and doing things for me that I can do myself.

Love is being there for me when you have an impotant business meeting to go to.

Love is being there for me, when your friend or family member has an emergency.

Love is about being there for me when you have an emergency.

Love is being there for me when you are sick or sleep deprived.

Love is giving up all your friends and family for me.

Love is you knowing that my job is more important than yours, but that I not help you pay your bills.

Love is YOU paying attention to MEEEEEE and me ignoring, rejecting, demeaning, minimizing and lying about you.

 

 

Follow Your Meaningful Path

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Your life  direction is inside of you. Don’t let other people talk you into following the wrong path. 

If something does not feel right to you, then it isn’t right for you. Listen to your own feelings and the sensations on your body.

Your inner voice will direct you to follow your purpose. 

You need to differentiate between your true voice and the inner tapes that were put into your brain by other people.

Negative thoughts about yourself are bad programming,  usually installed during childhood and reinforced by abuse during adulthood. 

Your dreams are important.

Your special talents are needed by people in the world. If you feel inspired to follow a certain path, don’t let people tell you that you cannot or should not do it. 

Look into your own mind and soul for your purpose and for what really would make you happy. 

Anxiety and depression are ways your true self has of letting you know that changes need to be made in your life.

Past trauma needs to be healed and memories need to be integrated.  It is important that the inner tapes …that tell you that you are unworthy… do not hold you back. 

Find your path. It is never too late.

Toxic Abusive Narcissistic People

 

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narcissistic verbal abuse

 

Be the Person You Envision You Could be – In Spite of What Other People Think

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There is a great healing that comes along with accepting ourselves just as we are. You are not a compilation of your mistakes. You are the beautiful person inside that is more meaningful to life than you realize.

Once we can do that then we can begin to explore who we can become. We do not have to be entrapped in a perception that because we have not done things in the past that we cannot do them.

Others say things about us. They label us, describe us, talk about us. They tell us what we can do, what we can’t do, what we should do.

They advise us on our careers, families, religious beliefs.  Other people’s opinions can limit us if we choose to believe their perception of us. 
They can  limit our potential.
They can  limit our possibilities.

If we allow them to keep us in the little box they have assigned to us then they will destroy what we could have become.

We do not have to take on the perception that other people have of us. There are great gifts deep inside of you that have yet to flourish. Because others in our lives do see our possibilities, we do not explore them. We feel like we need to conform to who other people think we are.

To reach out for possibilities and explore untapped gifts inside of ourselves is to upset the apple cart. It upsets people who have their reality based on who they think we are. They have assigned to us roles and levels. 

You are far more gifted and intelligent than you let other people see. You keep those parts of you hidden and give up on them as unattainable dreams of who you wish you were. 

If you have a vision…a picture in your mind’s… eye of you want to become…of things you wish you could do…then do not let other people determine your boundaries or keep you in their box. 

It might be inconvenient for other people to get used to you becoming more of who you are. People like to keep things the same.  Some people are better off when you are struggling and kept down. Your true self may intimidate them.

But you are not living your entire life to fit into another person’s perception. That is not your purpose.

But there are so many things you can do and so many other people who can benefit from your stretching beyond just going through the motions of your designated roles. Some people may not even be worth keeping in your life, if they are always minimizing you and telling you what you cannot do.

It is not for others to determine our giftings and our potential. 

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We are each of us on our own path. We are on a path of discovery. Discovery of knowledge, beauty and spirituality. Discovery of our own potential and possibilities.

Reach into your heart and mind. Feel what your soul is calling you to do. The people that see you day to day can sometimes be the ones that know you the least. They just know the role that you play.

You have a purpose that is beyond the people in your family. your workplace, your school and your group of friends. You can start right where you are. It does not matter what  choices you have made in the past. 

The past has gone and you are not the person that made those choices anymore. You have already lived through the consequences of bad choices and good choices. The future is now.

The future is now and it is flowing freely moment to moment.

Each new moment is a fresh opportunity to think differently and see things from a completely different point of view….to see yourself as much more significant than you have ever considered before.

Blessings.

Annie<3

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