Trouble Organizing, Managing, and Proritizing

If you have executive function problems, due to PTSD, anxiety disorder, depression or ADHD or autism, I can feel your frustration.

Executive function is an impotant function of the brain that can be interfered with by many things including ptsd from abuse and gaslighting, and even ADHD and autism.

People with diminished  execucutive function can have extreme difficulty doing any or all of the following..

1. Organizing materials for a task or project

2. Planning and organizing things

3. Scheduling and keeping up with the schedule

4. Getting things done on time

5. Arriving places on time

6. Figuring out how to allow enough time for all the different parts of a task or project

7. Staying calm while trying to organize and manage things

8. Delegating tasks and responsibilities to others

9. Self motivating to stay on task and keep up with tbe schedule

10. Prioritizing things that cannot all be done the same day

11. Remembering appointments and things you need to do

If you have problems with your executive function part of your brain, you may feel frustrated or blame yourself. Negative self talk will create more anxiety, frustration or depression.

The first thing is to be understanding with yourself. Be patient and plan ahead.

Have calendars, date books, appt books, note pads, memo pad on your cell phone and time clocks with you wherever you need them. You may need multiples of calendars etc.

Give yourself the exrra time needed for tasks. Leave spaces in between activities and appointments, in order to keep your anxiety down to a minimum. You best work is done when you are feeling relaxed and confident.

Be compassionate with yourself and remember that the executive function problem is a real physiological issue in the brain. It was caused by whatever your particular circumstances were.

It is not your fault. Figbting it, ignoring it, or blaming yourself for it will not help. It will make it worse. Your memory will refuse to work if you add anxiety on top of the executive function issues.

Sleep is also important. Sleep deprivation adds to memory problems.

Blessings and compassion,

Annie

Take a Walk with me….

Itching

Fatigue

Rashes

Skin pealing

Arthritis

Back pain

Insomnia

Hang nails

Infections

Pink eye

Vomiting

Hair loss

Things our higher spiritual self does not have to deal with.

No wonder we become distracted, redirected and forgetful about being in touch with our higher consciousness level selves.

We can’t even call them on the cell phone, never mind ask them to relate to what we go through.

Getting into a higher level state requires detaching from our  physical selves. It is like ignoring the squeakiest wheel. ….and as we know, the squeaky wheel gets the attention.

We can have wonderful intentions of growing towards a higher consciousness level and then we develop some new pain or disorder…whether mental or physical.

We are subjected to all manner of mind control and persuasion techniques by society and the manipulators within it. And our bodies take more and more of a beating as we age.

Beating yourself up over not being able to get yourself out of your physical self and into a spiritual state, is another beating you should not have to endure.

It is effectually a beating of the consciousness by the consciousness…

A beating of the sub conscious by the sub conscious….

A beating of the mind by itself.

It is a paradox that you must accept the pains without the ego being involved because becoming one with higher consciousness means letting go of and identity with the self….yet repressing feelings about suffering only makes the suffering grow.

So we have to accept the inner child in order to heal…accept suffering as part of existing in the physical realm….sit with our pain to comfort it to ease it….walk through painful experiences to get to the light on the other side….and detach from the ego and identifying with our identity in order to achieve a higher consciousness…..

Yet in detaching from our ego we are acknowledging our identity with it…..so we first have to recognize the ego as a construct that is heavily influenced by brainwashing, false beliefs programmed into us, and manipulative people with their own agendas to serve..

We then can understand that many of our automatic  thoughts and attachments come out of this programming. …making the majority of the tapes running in our subconscious mind basically bad viruses…..and our conscious negative thoughts results of the viruses…..

Then we can begin to understand that We Are Not Our Thoughts….

Once we begin to accept that we are not our thoughts, we can open the subconcious mind to new formatting….better programming….we can alter and add new beliefs…and delete contaminated beliefs…..

A new understanding begins to arise at the back of our brains where those core beliefs are housed….that if our thoughts are not us, then we can observe our thoughts and evaluate their validity….

Holding onto beliefs that no longer serve us is not neccessary. We will not simply stop being ourselves by changing our core beliefs. It is the attachment to those addictive beliefs and thought patterns that keeps us controlled by others….and by our physical existance…..

We are not, in fact, the sum of our thoughts. We can rearrange the furniture in our brains that we call our thoughts. Rearranging the furniture, throwing out old pieces, adding new pieces that better serve our house….

The house remains, even when the things inside are altered.

So who is doing the altering and rearranging? It is not our physical selves….It is not our thoughts that are observing themselves….

Once we begin to realize this, then we catch a glimpse of what is doing the observing….It is not within the brain or the physical body….

It is that higher self…the higher consciousness….that can be awakened to observe and repair the subconscious …where suffering is at its roots….

Thoughts about suffering seem to create more suffering…and fear that the suffering will get worse….or continue to last is the root of the most painful mental and physical suffering.

Yet somehow you are beginning to suspect the most curious thing of all….that by entering this kind of trance….the one you have allowed your mind to enter while reading this….you were able to detach from your physical suffering for a few minutes…..

And so we took the journey together….just you and I….in a higher realm of consciousness….

Namaste..

 

 

 

 

Self Esteem for People with Depression and Anxiety Disorder

Setting Boundaries with Manipulative People

1. Other people do not get to decide what upsets you and what does not.
2. Other people have no frame of reference about your life, to be able to decide if you are being “too sensitive” or “hyper sensitive” . No…they just don’t get to!
3. Shaming someone is not love or support in any way, no matter how they attempt to twist things around to convince you. No shaming! Don’t accept it!
4. People do not have the right to tell you how to perceive reality or to question you perception of reality. No they don’t! Just say NO !
5. You are completely entitled to your feelings and to feel hurt when someone is….. mean, disrespectful, inconsiderate, selfish, sarcastic, deceitful, dishonest, disappointing, exploitative, condescending or minimizing to your reality. (image from Pinterest link HERE)
6. Someone insisting you perceive things the way they tell you to all the time is gaslighting you.
7. You have the right to a conversation with a loved one about abusive or hurtful behavior. You are not being abusive to them when you point out behavior that hurts you and express your feelings about that behavior!!!
8. Conversations about your feelings that always turn around somehow to be about their feelings, is a red flag of narcissistic abuse.
9. No demeaning behavior, embarrassing you, disrespectful behavior or condescending attitudes have to be tolerated. It does not prove that you love them…it is just evidence that you have been desensitized to that kind of treatment.
10. Excuses for their behavior that make you the cause of it, are UNACCEPTABE !

 

*PLEASE NOTE **If you are in an abusive relationship with someone that you fear may become violent, then please do not provoke them ! …. Get help, and carefully plan your escape from them. …..Do not risk violence to yourself or your children….. Pathological people can suddenly become much more violent when confronted by a partner. 

Feeling Safe and Deflecting Shame from Others

The people that try to make you feel guilt or shame over not doing what they want you to do, are just serving their own agenda.

If they continue to try to emotionally manipulate you, they have no concern for your reality. They do not respect your right to see things from your own point of view.

People will claim to know what you should start doing…or stop doing..that will make you a better person. But take a closer look and see that they are trying to get you to fit into their own agenda.

You do not have to change your core beliefs to make someone else’s reality more comfortable. They are clearly not changing their beliefs to suit you.

If you are not trying to guilt and shame them, then what right do they have to do it to you. What gives one person, or one group of people, exclusive rights to know everything that everyone “should” and “should not” be doing?

Shaming people is not loving. Any group or individual that is making you feel bad about yourself, or trying to make you question your own truth to support theirs, is more concerned with serving their own agenda than wanting you to be your authentic self.

People that claim to care about your best interest, but try to shame and guilt you into changing for them, do not have your best interest at heart….but they have their own best interest at heart.

So let them continue to follow their own path and do what they feel best supports them…..while you follow your own path and do what best supports you.

Why is it okay for them to want an environment they feel safe and supported in….but you are selfish because you also want to feel safe and supported?

You are as Beautiful as You Feel

Healthy Relationships Support Your Mental Emotional Health

The art of unconditional love seems to be becoming a rare commodity. This is unfortunate,  because we need to live in an environment that supports our emotional health.

Nurturing relationships are important for our mental well being and our overall health. We need people to confide in and to be able to count on to be there for us.

Not only do many people never experience what it would feel like for someone to treat them with unconditional love, some people have never experienced it at all.

I would even go as far to say that some people do not know what a relationship of unconditional love would look or feel like. People that grew up without unconditional love often do not know how to find it as an adult.

This society has become one based on “dealing out” affection, appreciation and love as if it were a commodity.

There are different types of love in different kinds of relationships to each other.

Friendship love is different from romantic love. Love of a mentor is different from love for an elderly neighbor that has been like a grandmother to you have known for years.

Unconditional love should ideally be two sided. One sided unconditional love can become a situation of manipulation and abuse. There are plenty of examples of one-sided unconditional love relationships.

These  one-sided unconditional love relationships often involve one selfless person who understands this concept and another person who takes advantage of it. Relationahips like these are likely to end up being exploitative and abusive.

Healthy relationships should support you, rather than pull you down.  Unconditional love is when two people choose to love and care about each other.

That love is not contingient on the person being perfect. It is based on loving someone for who they are as a person.

Withholding of love and affection is not used as a weapon. Love is not handed out based on someone acting like the person you want them to be. It is not withheld as a tool to manipulate them into compliance.

I am not referring to feeling closer to someone when they are being closer to you. I am not discouraging giving someone approval when they are loving to you.

A relationship of mutual unconditional love is a choice to try to be patient. It is not jumping to conclusions or assuming the worst about someone.

It is giving someone a chance to communicate with you in a non-judgemental atmosphere of kindness.

Relationahips where both people choose daily treat the other person with value and respect can be rewarding and foster an atmosphere of calmness, trust and safety. These are relationahips where both people can grow and live in a mentally and emotionally supportive environment.

Our society seems to be getting more and more competitive and it is becoming more focused on individual achievement than on relationships.

There is generally more value placed on external representations of worldly success than there is value for interpersonal hhumanity and kindness.

Predators who seek out and target victims for exploitation, in a variety of ways, are becoming more skilled. There are even blogs and web sites that are designed to instruct people how to be more narcissistic.

These blogs I have come across teach that the Machiavellian philosphy of “the ends justifies the means”  and they condone man’s inhumanity to man.

As a sensitive or empathic person it is difficult to avoid becoming victimized by people with little or no empathy. Once people are victimized or severely emotionally (or otherwise)  injured, they often retreat into a safety zone of distrusting others.

Even one or two relationships in your life that are based on unconditional love and kindness, would add great value and comfort to your life. There are still people who have the ability to offer this to you.

The people that still understand the value of relationships are also sometimes the ones who are most easily injured by the people who see no value in trusting relationships. Other people have become bitter and no longer believe anyone is worth bothering with.

Finding these golden few caring relationships in your life isdifficult. Lessons are often learned in painful, sometimes devastating ways.

Learning about abusive personalities and how to deal with manipulative people has now become a survival skill. It is necessary to know the red flags of an abusive person and to be able to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship early on.

In order to find healthy friendships and partner relationships we must learn how to set healthy boundaries. In turn we have to respect the boundaries of others.

Wasting our time on relationahips that do not nurture and support us is time we could be spending with someone much better for us.

Even interactions with family members who deplete our energy, and lower our self esteem, should be minimized.

Life is too short and you are to valueable to settle for unfullfilling relationahips. Material things do not make up for meaningful relationships.

Value yourself and believe that there are people who would value you for the person who you are inside. You are worth it and your quality of life matters.