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Letter to my Beloved Readers / Where is Annie?

gentlekindness

Hi guys. I have not posted anything today. I know that is unusual and some people get concerned when a blogger seems to disappear.

I have not died or anything although I did end up in the ER, early this morning.

What I thought was a virus, with nausea, chills, fever etc turned out to be much more serious.

I had not been able to keep food down for three days and then last night I got even sicker.

I was so dehydrated and nauseous, and had such a brain splitting headache that I figured I had better drag myself across the street to the hospital.

Yes, it is directly across the street from my house, so you would think it would be a simple task getting there.

But I was so dizzy, and the rooms were spinning around me. It took me ten minutes just to manage my way down the two flights of stairs.

So, I got to my car and sat there for a while, feeling confused, sick and disoriented. I guess from the dehydration.

I started the car and got to the end of the driveway. I turned right, then left then I was there.

I sat in the car in the hospital parking lot and it took me a while to figure out how to get out of the car and walk to the ER.

I cried a little, but I had to stop because there was pain in my abdomen and the crying was making it hurt more.

These are the times when being a single mother with no local friends , or family that will help you, hits you in the face.
There is one person who probably would have helped me, but she is on bed rest for a high risk pregnancy.

so I did not even want her to know I was going to the hospital because it may have tempted her to get up and that was not what I wanted.

So, finally I got through all the bureaucracy at the desk about the insurance. I think they would let you die, while they fuss and argue with you about this stuff.

I finally convinced he to let me in.

The gave me something for nausea and began running fluids. They sent me for a CT scan, drew blood, took my temp which was 101.

The radiologist found many bacteria in one of my kidneys and the urinary tract.

So this was a urinary tract infection that spread into the kidney. Kidney infections make you extremely sick, with fever, chills and vomiting. No fun.

So I am in bed at home. I have my antibiotics on the table and also something for nausea.

I have to rest and drink fluids. My younger one has been checking on my every so often.

The older one has been out and I will see her later this evening and update her then.

So I am here, but going to sleep now for a while.

Much love,
Annie ❤

Published by gentlekindness

Searching for meaning, beauty and inspiration, amid the darkness and pain of this existence. Hoping to guide others to find what is true for them, and to draw out the inner light in others.

13 thoughts on “Letter to my Beloved Readers / Where is Annie?”

    1. Thank you so much. I will tell you that I feel 80 percent better than I did last night. I am able to walk around a little . I heated up a can of tomato soup and poured it into a soup cup a little at a time. I was able to drink the whole thing over a half an hour. That is the most food I have kept down in 3 days.
      I do not feel so dizzy and disoriented .

      This morning when I turned to look at something, the whole room spun.
      It is hard to believe that an infection in the internal organs can effect every other part of your body. My knees and my back hurt. My eyes felt like they were going to explode out the sockets. If I looked up, there was extreme pain behind the eyes.

      So, most of those symptoms are subsiding.

      I am so glad they did not admit me to the hospital because my daughter has her Senior Recognition NIght at the church. Her father, who can be very selfish, is not going because…his friends had already scheduled a role playing game night for the boys.

      The weird thing is. I know most of those guys from being married to my ex for years. None of them would have skipped their daughter’s graduation to go to game night. Many times I have heard my ex complain “Jason is not coming to game night because his girlfriend is sick. So pussy whipped”
      “Bob is not coming because it is his wife’s birthday. Can you Believe that??”

      Yeah. he has a problem. All those guys put their kids, girlfriends, wives first and would skip a game day.

      SO, imagine if my poor kid was the only one with no parents who showed up. It is a small church. Everyone will have parents there.

      SO, thank God they did not admit me to hospital. I would have been sobbing to think of him at game night and her embarrassed.
      I will write up a post tomorrow of how the event goes. They are going to have a slide show of baby pictures.. 🙂

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    1. Thank you for your sympathy. It helps. I do not have that in my “real live person” circle in my world.

      I am on my way to pick up the new antibiotics they just called into the pharmacy.
      Lets hope this one works better.

      Too many days without real food. I am feeling the drag of lack of nutrition.
      I think I better pick up some Ensure drinks.

      Thank you for connecting with me. I am very isolated from compassion here.
      Annie ❤

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      1. I’m sorry you’re isolated from compassion, I know what that feels like. The nutrition drinks sound a good idea and, of course, plenty of water. I hope the second lot of antib’s work better, you should recover a lot quicker

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    2. Thank you. Yes, it is a terrible thing for a very empathetic, compassionate person to be living with narcissistic manipulators.
      It wears on you.
      I have ideas to work my way out of here, but it will take a while.
      The less the people I live with know the better. They would cut the legs out from under me to keep me from getting any traction.

      That is the reason I do not blog under my name because it is their name too.

      I do not want someone stumbling upon the family name and then bringing my blog to their attention.

      Someone once said I reminded them of the movie character Annie Hall. My actual maiden name was Hall.

      So I used Annie Mimi Hall for my wordpress name. Mimi was my nickname as a kid.

      So the Mimi Hall is my name as a kid.

      Thank you for your empathy.
      Blessings,
      Annie ❤

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    3. True. I would not expose the guy who abused me last.
      As much as he hurt me, part of me would still protect him from further injury to himself.
      I know he was abused as a child. And I know he had no right to torment my brain because of it.
      But I would not injure him and his reputation by exposing him.
      So yes I understand.
      Annie ❤

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