#narcissistic abuse, mental illness, poem, poetry

Eliza

eliza 2.

image from pinterest

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The midnight wind swept her hair

Like silken darkness across her face

She glanced once from side to side

Then continued with bold strides

Across broken rocks and fallen branches

🌹

Her aching feet finally arriving

Toes pointed toward the black iron gates

Eliza removed an object from her bag

Moonlight splashing a reflection

Onto the cold steel of the barrel

🌹

She thrust as hard as her body could bare

And the object flung over the gates

Into the blackness of the overgrowth

That strangled the cemetary markers

Looking like strange alien spiders

🌹

The cold black steel disappeared

The evidence was swallowed up

Never to have existed in the first place

Eliza trembled at her imagination

Half with dread and half with remorse

That she could never pull the trigger

Even pointed at that god forsaken monster

🌹

The sound of her name broke the silence

And echoed through the streets

She turned towards the direction

From where the creature was beckoning

Dropping her face and hunching forward

She slowly began to make her way back

To home where the creature kept her

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eliza

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#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic abuse, #narcissistic personality disorder, domestic abuse, mental illness

Psychopaths Brain Images are Different in MRI Scans

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There are biological differences in the brains of psychopaths, compared to people that do not have psychopathy , otherwise known as anti-social personality disorder. 

The emotional regions of the brain do not light up in an MRI, as opposed to the way they light up in an MRI of a non-psychopath. There are also differences in the amygdala, which it the fight or flight center of the brain. 

Whether or not these differences are something people are born with or not is something that is still debated. It is possible that psychopaths have a personality that causes them to want to behave in certain ways that through repetition of these behavioral patterns, trains the brain to behave differently. 

The pre-frontal cortex of the brain is the part of the brain that regulates behavior. It is the restraining mechanism that keeps people from doing things that they are not willing to suffer the possible consequences of. People usually weigh out the possibilities of their actions before they act, but psychopaths seems to lack this function in their brains, according the the MRI scans. 

Psychopaths are not insane or psychotic. They have knowledge of right and wrong. They are impulse driven, but they are aware of the nature of their behavior. The actions of psychopaths are intentional and they choose to behave as predators. They see other people as their prey and they have no remorse over their actions when they hurt other people. 

Some scientists believe that there is a possibility that the brains of psychopaths can be altered with surgery. This is a topic of morale debate. Some scientists believe that surgically altering the brains of psychopaths is a way to save society of the consequences of the actions of convicted criminals once they are released. 

Of course, only a small number of psychopaths are in prison. Many psychopaths are fully functioning members of society and they blend in unnoticed by others. The victims they prey upon are mostly not believed because their wounds are not always physical.

Watch this documentary to learn more about these predators that walk among us. There are many psychopaths in all walks of life, and they are very good at masking their true nature and mirroring normal emotions. 

High functioning psychopaths are able to fool most anyone they choose to. Their victims are behind closed doors and when they tell anyone about their abuse, their story usually sounds unbelievable. 

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abusive relationships, mental illness

Eliza

🌹

The midnight wind swept her hair

Like silken darkness across her face

She glanced once from side to side

Then continued with bold strides

Across broken rocks and fallen branches

🌹

Her aching feet finally arriving

Toes pointed toward the black iron gates

Eliza removed an object from her bag

Moonlight splashing a reflection

Onto the cold steel of the barrel

🌹

She thrust as hard as her body could bare

And the object flung over the gates

Into the blackness of the overgrowth

That strangled the cemetary markers

Looking like strange alien spiders

🌹

The cold black steel disappeared

The evidence was swallowed up

Never to have existed in the first place

Eliza trembled at her imagination

Half with dread and half with remorse

That she could never pull the trigger

Even on that god forsaken monster

🌹

The sound of her name broke the silence

And echoed through the streets

She turned towards the direction

From where the creature was beckoning

Dropping her face and hunching forward

She slowly began to make her way back

To home where the creature kept her

🌹🌹🌹

 

 

 

 

 

#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic abuse, #narcissistic personality disorder, mental illness, Narcissists, psychopath

When You Are Sleeping with a Psychopathic Narcissist

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vampire sexy.image from pinterest here

 

When you are with a psychopathic narcissist for a partner, you do not see their dark side at first. The seasoned predators are skilled at creating a shared psychosis…an illusion that you are two perfectly matched souls….destined to be together.

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When you are with an authentic partner, who has true compassion for you, they do not feel the need to state things like….

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I have compassion for you, even though it does not show.

I don’t usually have compassion for other people, but I have compassion for you.

Other people do not really understand you or see you. But only I can see the real you.

No one sees your talent but me.

I am the only one who has really loved you.

I am the only one who could really love you.

You are so different from other people that I am the only one who understands you.

You are too special to be with anyone but me.

No one will love you the way I do.

You are the only one who can save me.

I would die without you.

You would die without me.

You and I do not belong in this world.

We are nothing without each other.

You can only do great things if you are with me.

I will kill myself if you leave me.

I will kill myself if you….

I will kill myself if you don’t….

My life was nothing before you.

You don’t need anyone but me.

Your friends are not really your friends. Only I am.

Everyone always lets me down in the end.

Everyone disappoints me sooner or later.

Every relationship I have ends up with them abusing me. You will do the same.

Everyone leaves me. So will you.

No one is willing to give me what I need.

I never get enough help from anyone.

People should help me and do what I ask, without wanting something in return.

If you really loved me you would not expect things in return for doing everything I ask you to do.

How can I believe you love me if you are not waiting by the phone when I call?

How can you do things for other people when I am so needy?

How can you do things for yourself (like take a shower) without checking that I am okay first?

I should not have to be there for you to prove my love.

Love is about you being there for me and doing things for me that I can do myself.

Love is being there for me when you have an impotant business meeting to go to.

Love is being there for me, when your friend or family member has an emergency.

Love is about being there for me when you have an emergency.

Love is being there for me when you are sick or sleep deprived.

Love is giving up all your friends and family for me.

Love is you knowing that my job is more important than yours, but that I not help you pay your bills.

Love is YOU paying attention to MEEEEEE and me ignoring, rejecting, demeaning, minimizing and lying about you.

#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic abuse, abusive relationships, adult children of narcissistic parents, mental illness

Everyone Deserves a Second Chance?

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There are many old  adages that are potentially harmful beliefs for you to carry.

These phrases have been passed dwn from generation to generation. They seem harmless enough, and supposedly make you a “better person.”

Compassionate people naturally believe these ideas, and we have made great efforts and sacrifices to stand by the values that these adages teach.

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“Everyone deserves a second chance.”

“Behind every great man is a good woman.”

“Turn the other cheek.”

“You only have one family, and you are stuck with them.”

“Good partners support their spouse ( partner) …no matter what.”

“Kindness is always rewarded.”

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What is the danger of blindly believing these things ?

Isn’t it “good” to always expect the best from people?

Shouldn’t we believe and trust in others…no matter what?

Isn’t everyone innately good?

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No.

They aren’t.

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Many people are innately good. Many people are basically trustworthy.

There are good-natured people that have a basic respect for other humans and living things.

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The problem with adages….other than the fact that they have been brainwashed into us…is the “Black and White” aspect to them.

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They suggest certain principles of “right” and “wrong” and create thought pattern behaviors that are rooted in shame and guilt.

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Toxic people can use this guilt to manipulate you very easily. Even as easily as asking you a question…

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“Don’t you believe in second chances?”

“Don’t you believe in me?”

“Don’t you believe that everyone deserves a second chance?”

“Aren’t you able to see the good in people?”

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This is manipulation that plays on your core values and beliefs. These beliefs that have been embedded into your subconscious. …

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“Good wives support their husband no matter what.”

“Real men don’t cry. They stuff their emotions dow, and don’t express them.”

“Good sons and daughters always respect their parents.”

“Good people keep tolerating whatever abuse their family fishes out at them.”

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There is an implied presupposition in these adages. ..All people are basically good.

You have been brainwashed to believe that if you just love someone enough, they will eventually let down their walls….and you will see the good person underneath all the barriers.

People walk back into houses with abusive partners every day, because someone guilted them into going back.

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Truth…..

These adages manipulate you with shame. Narcissists and psychopaths will lead you to believe that they are “good” people, that are just misunderstood, stressed, emotionally injured, etc.

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Truth…

Listening to your own feelings and intuition is good. You need these senses to protect yourself.

You have been brainwashed that “setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm” is noble. It makes you a good person. You will be rewarded for it later.

“Future promises”  are one of the favorite tools of manipulative people. They will lead you to believe that if you suffer through abuse now….you will be rewarded later….

But later never comes. You just get stuck in a reality that is being controlled by someone else.

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Truth…

You are not being selfish when you swt boundaries. You are not being selfish when you listen to your own feelings.

If someone is draining the life out of you, then they are taking advantage of you. Itvwill not balance out at some later date.

You are not a bad person if you do not give someone a second chance…a third chance….or a 10 th chance…after they have betrayed you.

People that sacrifice their dreams and desires for someone else are not better people…than people who follow their hearts and their passion….even if it means walking away from manipulative, cruel people.

So let’s “Get our heads out of the sand”

See what is right in front of you, and not what people tell you to see. Trust your feelings and your own perception of reality.

Don’t let people play on your desire to be a good person.

Be a good person. But spend your energy wisely. Follow your dreams. Access your truth.

 

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#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic abuse, #narcissistic personality disorder, adult children of narcissistic parents, mental illness

Join Gentlekindness coaching on facebook

design edited blue

art by my daughter Delenn Yake

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If you are interested in learning more about narcissism and narcissistic abuse…

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If you are in an abusive relationship…

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If you grew up with abusive parents…

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If you have C-PTSD from emotional and mental abuse…

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If you feel like you keep attracting narcissists and psychopaths…

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If you want to get some traction back into your life after abusive relationships…

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Join us on the gentlekindness coaching facebook page  

for information and support 

dark poetry, mental illness, pathological people, poetry, psychopath

Mr. Lucifer

devil with woman art source pinterest

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You reached into the flames

That were tearing my flesh

Burning me alive

I did not stop to wonder why

The flames had no effect

on your skin as you reached in

And joined me deep within

You said you had been choking

Suffocating …on the smoke

From your own inner hell

All alone…And now

We could hold hands

And join souls

in that fiery hell

Ruled by the morally insane…

Truth be told. I wanted you there

because if it made you feel  less alone

I would feel saved…

I never suspected

that the blazing black pit

Of brimstone was being stoked

Ever higher as the hot gas

Exploded into screams

Because after all

You recognized the nature

Of the flames

Darkness…

Darkness within the billowing smoke

Filling my lungs with ash

Formed from my buring flesh

I never suspected who you were

Even as I watched you

Expertly move about the fire

With a soul-less smile

that fueled the flames higher

#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic abuse, #narcissistic personality disorder, abusive relationships, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, mental illness

Psychopaths in Society

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The problem of psychopathy is a serious threat to the public, yet information about psychopaths is not common knowledge. There are warnings about the dangers of cigarettes, drunk driving, fire and even taking expired medications.

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There are all kinds of warnings from the government and other organizations about safety issues that concern the public. There are news reports when there is a danger of a severe weather event. When there is a flu virus spreading within a community, it is reported om the tv and the radio. 

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High school students are taught about the dangers of getting a sexually transmitted disease and provided with information about how to limit their risk. But they are not taught the red flags of dating a pathological person. They are not taught about abuse, and how to tell if you are in danger from your partner.

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Psychopathy is a personality disorder defined by a cluster of interpersonal, affective, lifestyle, and antisocial traits and behaviors that pose a serious problem for society. The behavioral repertoire of a psychopath includes charm, manipulation…

source – FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin  – July 2012

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There is a lot of misinformation about psychopaths, and this misinformation keeps people from being able to protect themselves. The real name for the disorder of psychopathy is anti social personality disorder. It is not the same thing as being psychotic. That is a different disorder. 

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Psychopaths are not confused about right and wrong. They know what behaviors are hurtful to other people, and they understand laws and ethics. They have no empathy for their victims, but they are aware when they are hurting them in some way.

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Psychopaths understand right from wrong. They know they are subject to society’s rules, but willingly disregard them to pursue their own interests. They also are not out of touch with reality. They rarely become psychotic unless they also have a separate mental illness or use powerful drugs…

source – FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin  – July 2012

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.Anti-social personality disorder (psychopathy)  is a personality disorder. This means it is an all pervasive disorder which reaches into all aspects of the person’s life. They like their disorder. so they have no desire to seek treatment, and therapy does not change their behavior. They do not desire to change.

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You cannot recognize a psychopath, unless you have studied about their tactics, characteristic and the red flags to spotting a psychopath. Even people who know about psychopaths can be manipulated by one. because they can be very charming and seductive. 

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Most people never have any idea that they are dealing with a pathological person, until it is too late. Other people work with one at their job, or have one in their family and will never realize it. This is the danger of allowing the information to stay hidden. 

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Some people never realize that they were in a relationship with a psychopath. They may realize at some point that they are in an abusive relationship, but by then they are already brainwashed and have a trauma bond with their abuser. 

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Robert Hare, the author of  Without a Conscience,  designed the Psychopathy Checklist for identifying the traits of people who have anti-social personality disorder. Anyone might seem to have one of the traits, but if someone you know has many of them, you need to be careful interacting with them. 

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The followingchart was published in the FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin  – July 2012

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Traits and Characteristics of Psychopathy

Interpersonal Affective Lifestyle Antisocial
Glib and superficial charm Lack of remorse/guilt Stimulation seeking Poor behavior controls
Grandiose sense
of self-worth
Shallow affect Impulsivity Early behavior problems
Pathological lying Callous lack of
empathy
Irresponsible Juvenile delinquency
Conning and
manipulation
Failure to accept
responsibility
Parasitic orientation Revocation of
conditional release
    Lack of realistic goals Criminal versatility
  • Please note – I realize that part of this chart is cut off. I could not fix it, but you can go to the source and view it in the full frame. 

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Psychopaths tend to target certain kinds of people for partner abuse. But they target other people when they need to use them for their own agenda. Any kind of relationship with a psychopath will end in you losing something, and possibly ending up with post traumatic stress disorder, or worse. 

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Statistics estimate that one out of twenty-five people is a psychopath. They blend in to all walks of life. Many of them survive like parasites who live off of other people. They take credit for the work of their co-workers and then throw them under bus, designing lies about them…or getting them blamed for the things the psychopath did wrong. 

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Young women are raped by psychopaths on college campuses, who lure them with their charm or drug their drinks. The campuses cover up the number of rapes on the campuses and rarely expel the offenders. 

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Psychopaths blend in on college campuses and appear to be just a regular student. A percentage of psychopaths on campuses are involved in repeated taped of the young women.

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This documentary reveals the frightening truth about the universities and their failure to report rapes to the authorities when the victims come to them for help. The victims are discouraged from reporting anything to the police and they are even accused of having encouraged their attackers. 

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The psychopaths in high positions do not want to be exposed. Many of them are in positions  control over the media and even the school system. People are made to think of psychopaths as serial killers and psychotic men who are out of control.

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The fact that psychopaths can blend in unnoticed is the way they are able to survive as predators. They will not allow the media to reveal the truth. We have to do that ourselves. To protect our children and to protect ourselves. 

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They do not deserve to walk among us unnoticed. When people can recognize a psychopath before they get entrapped by one, then they can walk away before the damage is done to them. It would reduce the number of women who end up in abusive marriages and domestic violence.

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It would keep young men and women safer on college campuses. It would keep people from ending up crushed and broken after a relationship with one of these pathological people. It would prevent the suicides of so many people who develop severe depression from being abused by a psychopath. 

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Bulletins like the FBI bulletin I gave you the link for in this post, should not just be for FBI agent training. They should be provided to the public and given to high school and college students, as well as distributed at doctor’s offices and human services agencies. 

 

#narcissistic abuse, abusive relationships, depression after a death, mental illness

Stigma About Mental Illness

Stigma about mental illness keeps many people from seeking treatment. Out f fear of social isolation, discrimination and misunderstanding due to their invisible illness, people fear the diagnosis and the permanent label to be fixed upon them.

There are many kinds of mental illness that are very different from each other.

People that have had incidents of severe depression are obviously not a danger to others, but being labeled with “mental illness” means that the same stigma will apply to them as to everyone else with a history of mental illness.

A former soldier who has had PTSD in the past, still carries the “history of mental illness” red flag in his records.

You hear the phrase “has a history of mental illness” on the news when some psychopath kidnaps a child. You hear this same phrase when a psychpathic 17 year old guns down his fellow students in the hallways of the school.

Just because someone “has a history of mental illness” does not make them a bad person, nor does it make them violent. This stigma is unrealistic and unfair to many people.

This stigma keeps many people from seeking treatment they need.

Once that label is on someone’s record, it is like it is etched in stone. It can ne brought out and others can even use it to undermine people that they have ulterior motives to destroying.

The general population is poorly educated about mental illness. Some people suffer for years and do not even realize that their depression or anxiety disorder could be treated.

They just know that something is wrong but they do not have enough background aboit different kinds of mental issues, to understand when depression changes from regular depression to a depressive disorder that is serious.

Parents are not educated about teen mental illness, and many parents cannot recognize a serious mental health problem. Teen suicides that could be prevented are a tragedy.

High schools do not have classes on basic mental health. The students are forced to spend hours learning certain things they will never use in their lifetime, but critical life topics like mental illness or safe dating is not covered in the curriculum.

Over 25 percent of people will have some form of serious mental suffering during their lifetimes.

Why is it that education about mental health is not given any consideration by the government or the school systems?

Why does the media continue to perpetuate misinformation that is devastating to individuals with mental health dosorders?

The heads of the government have an agenda that does not contain any feelings of empathy or common sense.

1 in 25 people is a psychopath or a malignant toxic narcissist. These are the people that are a danger to others.

But they have a talent to put on a facade of  charm and to appear “normal.”  By enabling fingers to be pointed at people “with a history of mental illness” …the psychopathic leaders are able to continue to blend in.

Lower level psychopaths endanger the invisibity of the high functioning ones. When these lower level psychopaths commit crimes, the media spouts that the person has “a history of mental illness.”

The truth that psychopaths blend into the crowd and are able to function undetected by people, is something that is covered up.

Instead of the news saying the truth, which is…

“This man raped three women. He is a psychopath. “…

..They are obligated to say …

“This man raped three women. He has a history of mental illness. ”

This veil of illusion is permeated throughout society and constantly reinforced by conditioning of the minds of the public.

 

abusive relationships, mental illness

Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing

Mythology is hinged upon

Good vs. Evil

And the most ugly emotions

Like envy and greed

Old stories show

Characters with evil intentions

And ways that they

Manipulate the unsuspecting

With deception, cunning,

And using a victim’s good nature

Against them

Even the Bible shows

How predators

Disguise themselves

And blend in among others

By appearing to be

Safe

Vulnerable

Well-intentioned

Or posing as someone

Completely different

From who they really are…

Eve was deceived by the serpent

In a story that warns us

About deception

And the charm of a lying predator. .

Yet the concept of someone

Who can effectively blend

into society or a social group

While hiding their

Malicious agenda

Behind a well crafted mask

Is still unbelievable to people

Or they think they could

See through such a persona

Were it to engage them in

Light chatter

Or furious intellectual debate

But the truth…

Of the predator vs. prey dynamic

Exists all around you

On your facebook friend list

At your church

Your job and your local school

In the PTA meeting

And in the home

Of your friend or neighbor…

At least 1 in 25 people

Have a predatorial social construct

As part of their cognitive and

Emotional makeup

Predators vs prey

Good nature vs. Insidious intent

Make no mistake

1 in 25

Is somewhere  on the

psychopathic spectrum

Seeing you as prey

And planning how

To have you for their dinner

To feed their entitlement

And sadistic impulses