life, mental health, mental illness

Introverted people and Social Anxiety and Depression

Introverted people that have severe anxiety and social anxiety are at risk for depression. The reason for this is that we cannot get the time to ourselves that we need.

We need time to reflect and be quiet and thoughtful. We need to cry by ourselves sometimes. We need to have time away from other people, especially groups of people and individuals who are triggering to our anxiety.

People often think they are being helpful when they try to drag us to social things and force us to be interactive. We are perfectly capable of one on one interaction. Introverted people are not necessarily shy. We are not antisocial. We can go up to new people and introduce ourselves just fine.

I personally like one on one interaction with certain types of people. But being in a crowd of a room full of people , is very uncomfortable to me. Even going to a restaurant with the family, is too much social anxiety for me.

I am happy to go shopping with one of my daughters. I love talking to people on wordpress because it is a one on one interaction.

Introverted people like to choose who they interact with and not have people forced upon us. I do not like when someone brings someone up to me at a random time, and forces me to interact with them , on the spur of the moment. I like to have a warning first, i order to have some time for mental preparation.

I hate when friends or neighbor just show up at my house, knock on the door and want to me to answer the door. I like my meetings with everyone to be scheduled or planned somehow.

If I am in a group interaction, like Christmas family stuff, I have to take breaks and go to a room alone. I tried this tactic this year on christmas and it worked very well. Every hour or so, I left the main area and went to a quiet room. I checked my wordpress for comment and interacted with people on here for 10  minutes, I sat quietly for another 5 minutes. The I was ok and could go back into the main room and interact for a little while.

Introverted people like to have conversations that are meaningful. We do not enjoy small talk about the weather or annoying gossip about other people. To me, those shallow interactions feel like they are wasting my time. I would rather be alone than have to act like I am cheerful and play the social game, which is stressful. Partially it is stressful to me because it is so mind numbingly boring to me.

Shallow group interactions are also anxiety triggering to me , because I cannot navigate all of the interactions going on in the room. I feel a tremendous sensory overload with a lot of conversations going on and I have to pick one to join . I do not always say the right things and I come off differently than I intend to.

I do not understand or really care about, the social dynamics of a group like that. It is just too much and I want to leave.

Depression sets in when people do not allow you to get a break. Depression sets in when you are forced into too much social interaction and do not have a “time out” to regroup your brain.

I am very good with my old people that are my patients. When I interact with them one on one, I can make meaningful connections with them. They are always happy to see me, when I come to work.

The family members of the patients love to see me come to work. They often will request that I be the one to take care of their Mom or dad , for the evening. The family members will go to the nurses desk and request to have their aid changed to be me.

However, I get scolded by my supervisors because I do not always do what the other workers are doing. I think for myself and do my job very well, But the lack of being able to tolerate group interaction is beginning to put my job in danger.

I do not always understand the social protocol. I just like to interact with everyone as if we are all brothers an sisters that love each other. I like to talk to people and communicate about feelings and thoughts.

This is not always within the Social norm or the conformity system.

Introverted people that have post traumatic stress have trouble not breaking down and crying in the middle of social overload. We have to take a time out. We have no control in those events and situations about triggers. There is often music playing that is a flashback trigger to me. Everyone is having fun singing the songs, but I want to melt away into the floor and not have to listen to it.

You can’t always sit in a nice quiet part of the room. because people think they are helping you by drawing you out. They think you are either antisocial and rude, or they think you are shy and need help to get involved. Neither of which is true at all.

I just want to be in the quiet corner. I am happier there. I am not necessarily lonely or craving people to be around me. I like to be in my bedroom. by myself. My boyfriend can call and I can talk to him, but still be in the peace and quiet of my room. It is a place for me to organize my thoughts and my brain patterns.

I get depressed when I have to continuously interact with people over a period of days. I have to interact at work, so when I come home, I have used up my social tolerance . It is extremely stressful for people to be waiting to talk to me at my house. (I do not mean my kids)

When I get home at midnight, I am done interacting for the day. Also on my day off, I need time to myself.

When people keep invading me and do not respect my introverted needs, I begin to go into severe anxiety and depression

So if you are like me, please set boundaries and insist that people respect them. The people I live with are bad with any kind of boundaries. They do not understand them, So lately I have given up trying to explain it to them. I just say NO to things and let them be upset or think I am rude.

It is not my fault or my problem  that they think I am rude for saying NO to certain kinds of activities. I cannot maintain my mental stability at all, if I have to be forced by the extroverts to be cheerful and socialble.



6 thoughts on “Introverted people and Social Anxiety and Depression”

  1. Brilliant post. Again, I always find your posts so “relate-able” (if that’s a word) Recently I have been understanding more about myself as a person, and how my mind thinks and works from your posts. So thanks, for well… blogging 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was recently suggested to me , by my daughter. Is the information on line?
      I did read the book by kersey called Please Understand Me. It is very good.
      My daughter says that the Myers brigg is better.


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