For Anyone Who Dreads the Holidays

woman in rain

image from Pinterest – HERE

Another holiday is upon us. I know that many of us dread the holidays for one reason or another. Some of you will be alone and others have to tolerate relatives they would rather not ever see.

Divorced parents have to coordinate with their ex, or miss the holiday with their kids all together. Memories of traumatizing past holidays trigger emotional flashbacks while you try to maintain your holiday cheer for the sake of your children.

Adult children of abusive parents suffer a triggering of old emotional wounds. Memories of traumatic experiences creeping into your mind, or bombarding you with full frontal assault.

People with chronic illnesses, progressive diseases, and chronic pain feel the weight of knowing it was not always this difficult, and it should not be this difficult.

Many people that have chronic pain and illness will be isolated, or struggling to keep up with things only to have a less than pleasant day.

Depression is often amplified during a holiday. Whether you are self isolating or are isolated because people got tired of dealing with your mental illness, being alone can make feelings of hopelessness worse.

young girl sad face

image from Pinterest – HERE

Some people will end up in a room full of loud, busting people only to feel more alone in the middle of the crowd. Being at any kind of gathering can be terribly draining and depressing for people who already suffer from depression.

OCD, PTSD and anxiety disorders can all be triggered to be worse in the midst of dealing with the expectations of friends and family. Even the media and society seems to judge and mock those who just cannot feel the “spirit” of a holiday.

So to all of you I send compassion. Feel free to provide links to your holiday posts on my blog, if you want to share how you are dealing with the holiday. I will post something on Sunday for this purpose.

Peace of mind is the most important thing for you on the holiday. So prioritize your mental well being. Don’t be afraid to say NO to people, and use the “spoonie method” to get through.

Much love,

Annieūüíē

Self Love is not Selfishness

self care

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Mother’s Love for Teenage Daughter Poem

*This is a poem I wrote for my daughter when she was 16 years old, after a traumatic sweater incident. ¬† As out children get older, we come to the realization that we will not always be able to protect them from the troubles in the world. The ideal of “Mommy can Fix Everything with a Kiss” ¬†becomes something like a dream from a past life. ¬†There is a sadness to this realization that they will be going out into a world that often has darkness to it. So the little “fixes” we can offer take on a whole new meaning.¬†

 

With my Own Two Hands

Sirens whiz by on the road outside
Someone unknown to me is in trouble
I say a silent prayer.

The six o’clock news shows a video
People are homeless from a hurricane
I offer a silent prayer.

An accident occurs on the road as I drive
A person is in trouble
I call 911 on my cell.

My daughter spills hair dye on the new sweater
Her grandmother gave her for Christmas.
She cries.

I take her to the store and buy her an identical one

I tell her Grandma will never know
Happy to do it because

at least
for now…
She still has problems I can fix
With my own two hands.

Follow Your Dreams

People will try to force you into a box. You are supposed to fit into one of the pre-made boxes of society. Your family may also expect you to fit into a box that they have assigned to you. 

You only have this life to be free and to experience all that you can and all that you want to. If you are stuck living in someone else’s box , then you cannot spread your wings and fly.¬†

The boxes are all the same ones that other people have fit into before. It just makes you a cardboard cut-out of other people. But you are unique and unlike anyone who has come before you.

You have can blossom and follow your own dreams. Listen to your true inner voice. Every time you push your true voice down, your authentic self is rejected. This rejection lowers your self esteem and self confidence. 

It is bad enough that other people minimize you, reject your ideas, and try to mold you into something you are not. You do not have to do it to yourself. 

The tendency to undermine yourself, and minimize yourself is something that was programmed into you by other people, when you were young. Any guilt you feel about expressing yourself, is also programmed into you by society and / or your family. 

Beliefs that you hold must be examined carefully , so you can let go of any beliefs that no longer serve you.

Your ideas are valid. They do not have to be perfect.

Ideas are starting places to create your unique path.

Your dreams are there for a purpose.

Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot accomplish. You can figure that out as you follow your heart, your true thoughts and your real values.¬†

Shine and a Cure Bunny Pic

shine

bunny edited

Amazing Resemblance Genealogy

kayla with great grandmother

This is a picture of my great grandmother on the left. She is my father’s mother’s mother. Her name was Mary Pacholski.¬†

The picture on the right is my daughter. My father sent me these two pictures together to show me where my daughter gets her beauty from the Polish side of my family.

My other daughter resembles my mother’s side of the family. My younger daughter , pictured above, was so happy to ¬†finally feel like she looked like someone in the family. My father noticed this resemblance just after I had emailed him the picture of my daughter.

With my Own Two Hands – poem for my teenage daughter

Sirens whiz by on the road outside
Someone unknown to me is in trouble
I say a silent prayer.
The six o’clock news shows a video
People are homeless from a hurricane
I offer a silent prayer.
An accident occurs on the road as I drive
A person is in trouble
I call 911 on my cell.
My daughter spills hair dye on the new sweater
Her grandmother gave her for Christmas.
She cries…
I take her to the store and buy her an identical one
Happy to do it because
at least
for now…
She still has problems I can fix
With my own two hands.

Chocolate Chip Pancakes for a Late Night Snack !

Okay so I am going to make my daughter chocolate chip pancakes at 10 pm. This is something I do once in a while just for fun. She loves to tell her friends that her mother is a little crazy and makes chocolate chip pancakes for a late night snack.

Life has to be whimsical for me sometimes and I like to share that with my kids. They are only young once and sometimes things should just be for fun .

I am taking her to the grocery store to get the pancake mix and then we will be making them, 

Try to do something like this…that is off the wall and does not make any logical sense. It does not hurt anyone and it breaks up the regular schedule and the monotony of being on autopilot.

Shine

individ shine

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Don’t Have What It Takes ? Improvise !

improvise

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