Suicide Awareness Teens and College Age

Midnight Shadows

black ghost

 

While most of the world around you sleeps, the little terrors crawl up the back of your neck, and knock to get it.

You know better than to let them enter, but the coldness on the back of your neck becomes intolerable and you just open a small crack.

Slowly the thoughts begin to sleep and slide and ooze … like a thick black oil that darkens everything  it touches.

The 2 am delusion has begun to awaken… and the shadows now begin to form. …in your mind….

…and in the left far corner of the room.. ..

You watch as the shadows melt into a form. The form will slither and sway from side to side, inevitably taking on the shape of something ominous. The night’s shadows play harmless tricks…or so people say. But as you blink your eyes once…twice…and again…that form becomes more solid and lifelike.

The veil between the daytime reality and the icy cold hand on the back of your neck becomes blurred, as you pull the blankets up and cover your head.

Only your fingertips peek out from underneath the blanket that you have diminishing faith in to protect you.

And you wonder if these black shadows started in your own mind…how they are now standing above you.

You can’t see them.

The blanket is covering your eyes.

But you know just the same.

The darkness is real … as long as you focus on it.

Your attention gives it power and makes it grow.

And as you focus your attention on not focusing on the shadows….they snicker at you with contempt.

Sleep tight!

( image souce from Pinterest)

 

 

Self Soothing ; Coping with Anxiety and Depression

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.Self soothing and having a variety of coping methods for anxiety is an important part of surviving life in this world. Some children are guided to learn these things, while others are not. If you grew up with parents that were neglectful or abusive, then you most likely grew up with no self soothing skills. 

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Everyone has anxiety and stress to deal with, but some people end up with anxiety disorders that overpower their lives, and their ability to interact with others in stressful environments.

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If you never learned coping skills for anxiety growing up, then you can still find methods that will work for you. 

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If you suffer from depression and anxiety, then you need to be able to self sooth. You need to find special methods that work for you. Everyone is unique and not all coping skills work for all people.

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It does not matter what your go-to methods are, or how silly or childish they might seem to someone else. You can buy yourself a special stuffed animal and a soft blanket if those things are soothing to you. 

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Sometimes it is the inner child that needs soothing, in which case doing the same things that would sooth a small child might be just the thing you need to do. I don’t mean carrying around a stuffed bunny rabbit with you out in public, but in your own home you can do what you want without worrying about outside judgement.

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If you are living with people who would judge you, then you probably are getting some of your anxiety from living with those people and that might be an issue you will need to deal with at some point. 

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If you live alone, or at least sleep in your own room, then your self soothing and comforting activities can be ones that made you feel safe as a child. If you grew up in environments where you often felt fearful, then that inner child is still looking for a safe place to be. You may be triggered by things that remind you of your fears from childhood.

Other self soothing activities for you might be coloring in a coloring book, reading a favorite story from a children’s story book, or an adult story book. You can carry items with you during the day that you find comforting. It is easy to keep small things in your purse or in your car. 

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Indoor or outdoor places can be soothing environments also.

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If you feel relaxed and safe at the park, by a lake, at the beach, or someplace in nature, then you can take yourself for a visit to a place that makes you feel connected with nature. You do not have to feel guilty for taking time out for yourself, even though you may have been conditioned to feel that way. 

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You might feel safe and comfortable someplace like a book store, a library, a bowling alley, a movie theater or a museum. Whatever makes you feel more able to deal with your anxiety is a good place to go. There is no reason you cannot take some time out of your day for yourself. It does not have to be expensive or cost anything at all. 

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Yoga and meditation are great ways to center yourself also. You can take a yoga class or do yoga at home. There are meet-ups you can find in your area by searching a site like meetup.com.

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Being with people of similar interests might be helpful for you, and the exercise is very good for regulating the nervous system. There are small groups that meet for meditation and spiritual activities at churches and other places that people rent for the purposes of getting together. 

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If you enjoy animals more that people. then there are places where you can be around animals. Even walking around Pet Smart for a half hour can be a great break from the anxiety of the day. There are animal shelters that would be glad to have visitors to help with the animals or to volunteer on a regular basis. 

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Music is helpful for many people in reducing anxiety and increasing dopamine, as well as reducing cortisol.

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The levels of these chemicals in your body alter the way you feel, your mood and your anxiety level. Anything that reduces cortisol and raises dopamine and the feel-good chemicals is probably good for you. 

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You can find what works best for you with a little trial and error. If you are not sure about something but you want to try it, go ahead and see how it works for you. Once you begin to explore different kinds of activities you may find that you discover new ones that you would not have otherwise thought of. 

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If you are introverted then you will probably be most soothed by doing things alone, or in small groups of like-minded people, or people with similar interest and values. If you are extroverted then you might find the most relaxation with larger group activities. But you can vary your coping activities between introverted and extroverted ones. 

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It might help you to take a free Meyers Briggs test online. You can find one if you search google, or I can give you a link. If you learn more about your own personality type, it can help you to discover the kinds of things that trigger your anxiety . You may find validation for why certain things make you feel depressed. 

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Another thing you could consider is what you are taking into your body.

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The food and drink that you bring into your physical body can have a strong effect on your mood and will power. Sometimes a small adjustment in the kinds of food you eat, or adding a vitamin that you may be deficient it, can make a marked difference in your mood. 

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I have offered you some ideas, but you can discover many more. Be creative and open minded. Sometimes just the simple act of trying new routines and spending 20 minutes doing something that you don’t usually allow yourself to do, can have am effect on your nervous system. 

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The nervous system can become disregulated from stress, from abuse, and from having PTSD from a past trauma. You may be living in the present physically, but emotionally connected to things that happened in your past. Sometimes hypnosis, inner child work, and compassionate dialogue with a trained therapist or life coach can be helpful. 

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Make sure you choose any professional help with care, and don’t feel that you are stuck with someone that is not serving your purposes, or is not a great match for you.

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You can ask the person questions about what they specialize in and why. Someone who is going to be talking with you about a abusive past for example, needs to specialize in that area or they will have difficulty really understanding what your responses are about. 

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I hope this finds you all well, and I wish you healing and empowerment. You are a special individual. You are unique. You have just as much of a right to have a meaningful and empowering life as anyone else does. 

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Namaste,

Annie – gentlekindness coaching web site

http://www.gentlekindnesscoaching.com/

visit my youtube channel HERE


https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJw1QUDzb59PbWTcnGjGJ7g/videos

Dealing with Depression

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Depression is a serious condition that is all encompassing for the individual sufferer. It is sometimes seen as a mental problem or an emotional weakness of sorts by people who do not understand it. But sufferers of depression know that it can permeate all aspects of your life. 

Depression can begin as a mild depression and then over time it can grow to a more serious condition that interferes with daily functioning. Some people have depressive episodes that tend to pass in time, while other people feel like they have been sucked into a black void that will not let them out. 

It can almost feel like an external entity is either crushing you down, or pulling you into an altered state of consciousness that becomes like a prison. This prison is filled with darkness, sadness, hopelessness and apathy about things that you once cared about doing. 

Getting any motivation, or traction in your life can be difficult to impossible, if you are suffering from depression. It can be hard to do activities, work, or even clean the house and do basic daily tasks. This can quickly begin to lead you into a downward spiral that is very hard to get yourself out of. 

One element that is common with severe, or chronic depression, is the element of shame. There is sometimes toxic shame to begin with. That can be something that goes back to childhood. It may be shame that other people programmed you to feel. 

If you grew up with people that were critical about your feelings, the way you expressed yourself, or critical in general, then you are probably carrying toxic shame in your subconscious. If you were abused physically, or otherwise then you may be carrying a feeling of shame from that abuse, even if you are not aware of it. 

Why would someone who was abused be carrying shame about that, when the abuse is the fault and choice of the abuser?

This is a question that is often asked by people who did not have an abusive childhood, and have never been in an abusive relationship. There are aspects of mental abuse and emotional abuse that program shame into the victim. People who have not experienced emotional abuse or mental abuse have trouble understanding this, but it is very real. 

It can be difficult to talk with people about your childhood, and also about adult abusive relationships because they may invalidate what you experienced. This makes you feel worse, and it reinforces the shame that you already feel. 

The other aspect of shame that is often felt by sufferers of depression, is the shame of feeling that there is something wrong with you because you suffer from depression.

Other people around you function better than you do, and they seem to be more equipped to deal with life than you do. If you feel like the depression is something you have to hide from others, then that can lead to feeling shame about it. 

Depression is not something you have to feel shame about, but it is not easy to just turn that feeling off. Shame is one of the most difficult emotions to deal with because it can feel out of your control. It feels like an entity in itself that takes hold of you because you deserve it to. 

Feeling guilt about something you have done wrong is different than shame.

Deep seeded shame is extremely painful and it makes the person feel like they deserve to be punished. You might even feel like the depression is your punishment for being an inadequate person.

There is nothing that is inadequate about you. Even if other people are able to deal with their lives better at this time, it does not mean that they are better or more deserving than you. 

Shame is an emotion that is programmed into you. You feel ashamed in comparison to other people. It could be that you have been compared unfairly to people and situations that are not the same as you. You may have grown up with disordered parents who manipulated your feelings, in order to superimpose the feelings they wanted you to feel, in place of the true feelings that  you had about things.

All of these childhood experiences are carried in the subconscious because it was the time that you were learning how to interpret the world, your reality, your feelings, and your place in the world. If you were made to feel that you had a lower place in the world than other people do, then this belief was filed into your subconscious brain. 

Just because you may feel like there is something about you that makes you less than others, does not make it true. It is just the programming and the false beliefs that were put into you. 

As an adult with depression, there is stigma that you have to deal with. The perception by the general public about mental illness and depression is often not correct.

The media tends to misrepresent aspects of depression and mental illness. Most people who have never experienced any mental illness do not have a real picture of what it is like. 

If you are suffering from depression, you may feel isolated from others even when you are in a room full of people. You feel different and broken somehow. The inability to be able to communicate about how you feel and what you might need, can make you feel like an alien on an unfriendly planet. 

The feeling of isolation can make the depression worse. There is a need for understanding and connection, but you are afraid to be made worse by being invalidated, minimized or disbelieved. You feel like you are surrounded by a strangling darkness that no one else can see. 

It can help to know that you are not alone. There are many other people who feel like they are the target of this crushing dark pain. It is not a sign of your intelligence or you ability to be competent or functional. Many depression sufferers are extremely intelligent and creative. 

The more isolated you become and the more alone you feel, the worse the depression can become. Forcing yourself to be among people does not always help either. In fact it might be something that makes you feel even worse and more alone. 

Being around people who do not understand mental illness or depression can make you feel out of place, and like you do not belong or fit in with anyone in the world. But this does not mean that you do not belong in the world, or that you cannot find people that you do fit in with. 

Depression is physically painful, as well as emotionally painful. Strong emotions are always felt in the body. You may even be able to identify and point to the most painful places where you feel emotional pain. 

Over time the places you feel the physical pain from depression may manifest illnesses and disease. Carrying shame can also lead to physical illness.

Emotions that are repressed, held inside, or not healed can cause all kinds of diseases and sicknesses, including heart conditions, gastrointestinal diseases, cancers, arthritis and joint pain, migraines, chronic fatigue syndrome, nervous system disorders and more. 

If you have fatigue and chronic pain, in addition to depression, then it becomes a loop that is hard to get out of, where one things leads to the other. 

Insomnia and anxiety disorders are also common with severe or chronic depression. Sleep deprivation from insomnia can increase the depression and also illnesses. Many of these aspects of depression end up feeding back into it. It can feel like you are literally being attacked by your own body, your brain, or an outside force. 

Even though it seems like no one understands what it is like, it is important for you to know that you are not alone. You are not crazy or imagining things. The pain from depression is very real, and worse because it is invisible to others. 

Invisible disorders can be the hardest to deal with because it hard to get validation about your day to day reality. You feel like you are living in a different reality than other people. In many ways you are living in a different reality from most other people, but there are others who feel the same way that you do. 

You are not alone. It is important not to minimize your feelings, even if it seems like the people around you do not know what you are going through.

Allow yourself to accept the reality you experience as valid. Believe that you are just as worthy and deserving as anyone else, and that having depression does not make you less than anyone else. 

You may be having trouble getting through the day right now. Things may really be harder for you to do than they were before, and than they are for many other people. Be kind to yourself and allow compassion for yourself. 

Allow yourself to feel compassion for what you are going through and for how it feels to have this depression pulling you in and surrounding you. Accept this depression as your brain letting you know that something is demanding attention. 

You are very important and there are times when your brain is trying to protect you by letting you know that something really needs attention and care. Do not judge yourself for having depression, or for having difficulty with daily things because of the depression. 

There is no benefit if judgement, and it will just make things worse. If you are feeling judge mental towards yourself, then try to identify where this judgement is really coming from. It may be someone else’s words that are actually speaking in your head, and not your own. 

It is necessary for you to care for your depression, just like you would care for a sick friend or a sick child. Care for yourself and care for the depression you are feeling. Look inside of yourself and see what needs are not being met. 

It is not selfish to take care of yourself, or to be extra compassionate towards yourself during depression. It is a serious thing that is demanding your attention and care. 

Love yourself as much as you would love another who was suffering.

Find ways to nurture and heal yourself. Connect with others who understand. You do not have to base your feelings about yourself on those beliefs of other people who do not understand mental illness or depression. 

You are not inadequate and you are not an alien. You are not exaggerating the way you feel in your own head and your own body. You know how you feel , and only you know how serious your depression is. It cannot be judged by anyone outside of yourself. 

Allow kindness and compassion to flow towards yourself.

Accept kindnesses from others and begin to let go of any negative beliefs about yourself that others have put there. Your past does not define you, and you are allowed to love yourself just as you are at this moment in time. 

 

Mindfulness about Pain and Sickness

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Itching

Fatigue

Skin rashes

Arthritis

Back pain

Joint pain

Insomnia

Hang nails

Infections

Pink eye

Vomiting

Hair loss

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image from Pinterest

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No wonder we become distracted, redirected and forgetful about being in touch with our higher consciousness level selves.

We can’t even call them on the cell phone, never mind ask them to relate to what we go through.

Getting into a higher level state requires detaching from our  physical selves. It is like ignoring the squeakiest wheel. ….and as we know, the squeaky wheel gets the attention.

We can have wonderful intentions of growing towards a higher consciousness level and then we develop some new pain or disorder…whether mental or physical.

We are subjected to all manner of mind control and persuasion techniques by society and the manipulators within it. And our bodies take more and more of a beating as we age.

Beating yourself up over not being able to do certain things is unproductive. It might be that you don’t do certain things well, because those are not the things you were meant to be doing. If you were meant to be doing something, you would feel passionate about it. 

It is effectually beating up yourself with the ideas that someone else put into you. The thoughts you have about not being good enough are programs that were hacked into your brain by others. 

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As far as your body goes…it is always trying to help you. Your body wants to protect you, as well as itself. It is the house for the soul and the mind. Your body works hard all the time to repair itself, but it needs your help to do the right things to care for it.

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The idea that some people might give you that your body is working against you, is not true. And this very thought will cause a battle between the mind and the body. This will cause disease and sickness.

 Repressing your feelings about things will cause a physical response, because those feelings want to be paid attention to. You may have been conditioned that you have to shut down your feelings.

You may have been taught that it is weak to express your feelings. At the same time, you know that repressing feelings will cause your body to weaken. 

So we have to accept the inner child in order to heal…accept suffering as part of existing in the physical realm….sit with our pain to comfort it to ease it….

walk through painful experiences to get to the light on the other side…

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…believe in your own resilience to be able to experience your feelings and care for them…

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…and detach from the ego and identifying with our identity in order to achieve a higher consciousness…..

Yet in detaching from our ego we are acknowledging our identity with it…..so we first have to recognize the ego as a construct that is heavily influenced by brainwashing, false beliefs programmed into us, and manipulative people with their own agendas to serve..

We then can understand that many of our automatic  thoughts and attachments come out of this programming. …making the majority of the tapes running in our subconscious mind basically bad viruses…..and our conscious negative thoughts results of the viruses…..

Then we can begin to understand that We Are Not Our Thoughts….

Once we begin to accept that we are not our thoughts, we can open the subconcious mind to new formatting….better programming….we can alter and add new beliefs…and delete contaminated beliefs…..

A new understanding begins to arise at the back of our brains where those core beliefs are housed….that if our thoughts are not us, then we can observe our thoughts and evaluate their validity….

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Holding onto beliefs that no longer serve us is not necessary. In fact it is important to rid yourself of false beliefs that you are holding in your subconscious.

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You need to evaluate what beliefs are driving your emotions. Then see which ones are actually your own, and which ones were programmed into you.

 It is the attachment to those addictive beliefs and thought patterns that keeps us controlled by others….and keeps us in learned helplessness….

We are not the sum of our thoughts.

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If you think of your thoughts as furniture occupying your brain, you can see how you have the power to arrange it however you wish.  

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Rearrange that furniture.  Throw out old pieces that are no longer needed. Add some select new pieces that support you better. You can even re-frame some memories that are keeping you trapped in the picture that you imagine you are trapped in.

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The house remains, even when the things inside are altered. Your higher self can guide you to know what thoughts fit you, and what ones are destructive. 

So who is doing the altering and rearranging? It is not our physical selves….It is not our thoughts that are observing themselves….

Once we begin to realize this, then we catch a glimpse of what is doing the observing….It is not within the brain or the physical body….

It is that higher self…the higher consciousness….that can be awakened to observe and repair the subconscious …where suffering is at its roots….

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Thoughts about suffering seem to create more suffering…and fear that the suffering will get worse….or continue to last is the root of the most painful mental and physical suffering.

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Yet somehow you are beginning to suspect the most curious thing of all….that by entering this kind of trance….that very trance you have allowed your mind to enter while reading this….you were able to detach from your physical suffering for a few minutes…..

And so we took the journey together….just you and I….in a higher realm of consciousness….

Namaste..

Annie – gentlekindness coaching

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Be What You Imagine You Could Be

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As you are walking along your path, you can be who you are at any time, even as you discover new things about your true self. You are not consigned to have to be imprisoned by your past, or the story of your life. It does not have to define you. 

Just think of the story as events that happen to have occurred, and things you have been in the midst of at various times. The choices you made in different circumstances were based on your programming and the beliefs you were holding in your subconscious at the time. 

Many of the beliefs you hold in your subconscious brain, are things that were programmed in by other people you have interacted with, by your family of origin, and by society. Any toxic shame you are carrying was brainwashed into you. Self doubt and ;earned helplessness are other things that come from believing that “you are your story.”

You are not your conditioned thoughts. You are not your story. You are not your past. 

You are infinitely more that anything that has happened to you, and anything you have ever done. You are expansive and go beyond this illusion that you have been told is the only reality that matters. 

There is more to reality than you see. There is more to you than other people tell you. Your feelings and intuition can guide you. You must re-train yourself to feel your feelings without self judgement. Your feelings are not your enemy, and they never mean that there is something wrong with you. 

The more you shove down your true feelings and your true thoughts, the more the illusion draws you in. Who says that your inner thoughts about how your reality should be are wrong, or that they have to be approved by society?

What visions and dreams would you have, if you did not fear your own judgement of yourself? What possibilities are there that you tend to shut down, because you fear the judgement of others? What things have you denied in yourself,  because someone else told you there was something wrong with it? 

You are in this life to explore the dreams and possibilities. You can expand beyond the role you are playing.

This pattern of feeling obligated to repeat the same kinds of behaviors day after day is like a self imposed prison. You can be who you are, even if that does not match what people expect from you.

As a child you had imagination and played out roles and situations in a way that allowed you to explore your ideas and your feelings. Society and the people in your life may have crushed your imagination down, and discounted it as childishness. 

Imagination is one of your greatest gifts. It allows you to explore possibilities and come up with creative solutions for problems. Imagination can take you outside of the box you have been restricted to and to mentally explore your own expansion.

Dream and allow your visions to be free. Imagine and create as you desire. Be who you dream of being. Follow your passions and part the veil that has been limiting your potential to be your true amazing self.

Your Unconscious Mind and Hypnosis

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Despite the way it may seem to you, most people do not make decisions based on rational arguments and logic from the conscious brain. 

You make decisions that are driven by the beliefs and emotions of the subconscious parts of the brain. 

The limbic system is the emotional brain.  It is one of the three brains described by the Triune Brain Theory, developed by Paul MacLean. This theory was conceived of by research and experience in order to develop a model based on the study of evolutionary development of the human brain. Over time the different parts of the brain developed as a natural evolution in response to the survival needs of humans. 

According to this theory, the three brains are as follows:

The Reptilian Brain is the primal brain. It was the first part of the brain that developed. The early people used this brain for protection, survival and procreation of the species. The drives from this part of the brain are very strong, and they are at the root of many decisions to make on a daily basis. 

This reptilian part of your brain scans for danger and seeks safety and also pleasure. It encourages you away from pain or any threats in your environment. This part of the brain is very active in people with PTSD from trauma. It also gives you sexual drives and is at the root of impulses.

The Limbic System is the second part of the brain that was developed. The limbic system contains the emotions and deals with behavior in response to emotions. It also processes memories and associations you have between experiences and feelings. This part of the brain consists of the  hippocampus, the amygdala, and the hypothalamus.

If you have ever made a decision that did not seem rational to you, and you can’t figure out why you did it, then it may have been driven by a combination of the reptilian brain and the emotions from the limbic system.

The conscious brain is made of two hemispheres and it is called the  hippocampus, the Neocortex. 

These hemispheres have been responsible for the development of human language, abstract thought, imagination, and consciousness. The neocortex is flexible and has almost infinite learning capabilities

The Brain Box – Triune Brain Theory

 

Learning ways to access and understand what is happening in your subconscious brain, is a valuable tool to understanding your emotions and behaviors. Hypnosis is one tool that can help you to access your subconscious and heal certain emotional wounds that you may be carrying.

Old emotional wounds can affect your feelings and behavior in ways that may no longer be supporting you. 

There are a variety if things that can be done while under various levels of hypnosis. If you are working with an ethical hypnotherapist, you will have control over any and all alterations in the neural pathways of your brain. You can create positive changes that will allow you to live your life in ways that allow you to experience things in that way that you would like to.

In addition to accessing and healing old emotional wounds, you can identify any false beliefs that you may be holding in your subconscious about yourself. Many of our perceptions were programmed into us while we were young. Some of these beliefs may be untrue and have a negative effect on our emotions and ability to achieve the things we want. 

If you are interested in finding out more about how hypnotherapy can benefit you…

If you have negative self talk that you know is holding you back from things you know you can do….

If you are curious about the possibilities of realizing ways you can create amazing changes in the way you frame your reality…

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Then please visit my new web site GentleAwakening.com and send me  a contact message. I will respond yo you via email, and talk with you more about what hypnotherapy can do for you. Or you can reach me by email at michelemimimish@gmail.com

And we can schedule a 15 dollar discounted first time session, so you can try it out and discover what you can realize about yourself that you didn’t even know that you knew, because that information has been driving your unconscious brain, and your conscious brain was not aware of it.

 

Annie Mimi Hall YouTube channel 

Gentlekindness Facebook Page 

 

 

 

Guided Meditation for Anxiety

Empowerment is Within You Right Now !

Clearing Toxic Energy and Negative Thoughts About Yourself

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