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Financial Emergency – Hoping to Find the Silver Lining

I am going to be off from work for the weekend. My CNA license has expired. I received letters to my current address about the fact that a renewal letter was on its way. Then the renewal letter was sent to my old address, and I never received it.

The facility I work at was forced to pull me off the schedule. It is not their fault. They are only allowed to have nurses and nurse aides with valid, current licenses. I am not upset with them. They could get into legal trouble if there were any incident such as a patient fall, and I was the aide they had to list on the paperwork. Falls to happen from time to time, when the residents are in their rooms, because we cannot be on all the rooms at the same time.

This is good and bad , but I am trying to think positive.  I will lose the pay for the entire weekend. As I am going paycheck to paycheck, this is a huge problem as far as buying enough food for my kids to eat. There are a few food banks near here.

I can go to the local food banks, in order to get some canned food. If need be, there is also a soup kitchen. I used to eat there years ago. Some of the homeless people might still recognize me.

The good things about not being allowed to work are:

1. I have not had a weekend off with my kids for over 5 years. I have worked every single weekend and every single holiday, including Christmas, easter, mothers day 4th of july for almost 6 years. 

2. I can use some of this time to work on what I want to work on, which is starting my own businesses.  I have skills and things I love to do.

1. I can teach guitar lessons at people’s houses and online.

2. I would love to be a home companion for elderly, hospice, and dementia. I have an idea that I could bring my guitar, some art supplies and some cognitively stimulating activities. I would individualize a plan for each person and do things that would improve, and more maintain their cognitive level.

3. I also want to do Life Coaching via Skype.  I would specialize in people with C-PTSD from childhood abuse, people that are recovering from domestic abuse. and narcissistic abuse and people with People Pleaser Syndrome. I would really love to do this, because I am very good one on one with people. as far as being compassionate, listening and giving intelligent guidance.

4. Writing –  well this one is hard to make money at right away, but I would like to do self publishing at some point in the future

5. Playing guitar and singing at nursing homes. I would love to do sing alongs at nursing homes. I have a lot of ideas for musical activities I can do with small groups

 I have a degree in music teaching and also 16 credits of graduate studies in music teaching. I am trained to do musical activities for young people, but the same ideas and activities can be adapted for the elderly.

I have 6 years experience with the elderly and dementla, so I know how to adapt the musical activities for them. I also have an art background, a teaching background and I have done activities with the dementia patients, as part of my job. (actually I was doing that extra work during the course of my shift, because I liked it, not because it was part of the CNA job description. I spent time at home getting the activities together and used my own supplies )

So, I feel like I have been underemployed for a long time. I had been through a couple of domestic abuse and narcissistic abuse situations and my self esteem was crushed down.

I feel like I work doing a combination of the skills and dreams that I have. I enjoy a varied schedule with different types of jobs during the course of the day.

It was hard for me to get my self esteem back and my traction, so to speak in order to move forward in life. I ended up in a job that was far beneath the pay grade for my education and skills.  I have been blogging since October and blogging has helped to get  my self esteem and my self confidence back.

I have met so many supportive people on here. I have gotten a wonderful group of followers and I love all of you. The connection with everyone here has helped to set me on a path of healing from both childhood abuse and also domestic and narcissistic abuse.

I am very thankful for all of you. I feel supported in moving on to a new phase in my path. I really want to use my skills to bring light into the lives of people who feel darkness and frustration. I know how that feels and I am very compassionate to that.

So, hopefully I can find a way for my kids not to starve while I am transitioning.  Any advice, ideas or encouragement  is welcome in the comments section below.

Blessings,

Annie

More Kid Hair Stories…but This Time A Hair Horror story…

This must be the day for extremes in hair ! I just wrote that post about doing my older daughter’s hair and posted it. As soon as I hit Publish, my younger 12 year old daughter came into the room.

She was playing with the new comb that I bought and she was trying to roll her hair. I don’t know what her idea was…I guess to make it curl…

Anyway, somehow she got this comb completely tangled up in her hair.  I tried to get it out and the hair was so tangled and wrapped around the comb that I could not do it.

The comb was just sticking out of the front of her forehead, with a tangled mess of hair around it.  She has such beautiful hair  too !

I started to cry…I think everything is catching up with me, and the thought of having to chop off all of the hair on the front of her head, was too much.

She said “Mom, why are you crying? It is MY hair.” and she gave me a big hug. She said we have to cut it out.

I tried again to untangle,  but I knew she was right. We were going to have to cut the hair.

So, I very carefully cut a few strands at a time. I worked out the pieces that I could and I cut the ones that I had to. I tried to see where each strand was coming from so that I would keep as much length as possible. It was hard to tell where things started and where they ended.

Finally we got the comb free and pieces of hair fell to the floor. I then trimmed the front of her bangs to make them look okay. I angled the sides to match.

She actually really likes the new cut and she is happy.

Shew ! I guess it turned out  alright after all. Tomorrow, I will trim up the back and layer it. The she will have a whole new look, which is what I think she was going for in the first place.

Crazy Mama Annie

My Little Niece’s First Exciting Experience Going through the Car Wash

I took the kids to the car wash – my 12 year old daughter, her boy cousin age 8 and her girl cousins ages 7 and 11.

They all thought it was fun.

The littlest one was the funniest of all ! Little Jade, age 7 was laughing so hard when the washing things came up to her windows ! She just laughed and laughed because it was such a surprise to her. Then the shower part started and they were all laughing.

Then the blowers. I told them they were like giant blow dryers. The thought that was funny too.

I am glad I thought of taking the extra kids. I knew my daughter would have more fun at the car wash, if we took a few more kids.

I was able to fit 4 kids in my car all together. Kayla , my daughter in the front and Nick, Jade, and Alexis all squished into the back seat. The little one squished into the middle.

So, I had to leave a  few kids home. I told them that when I get the car washed next month, I will take the ones who did not get to go. They were so very good about that.

I do things like that in the summer with the kids. All 5 of these cousins live in the basement apt. of this big house that I live in. Their parents and the 5 kids live there. In the basement is a kitchen, showers, bedrooms and living area..

My kids and I live in the attic, that is 3 floors above them.

It is hard for the mother to take all of them out very often. Their father is busy doing an internship. So, when I go out places with my kids during the summer, I try to take one or two of them and then alternate who goes.

So, they are used to waiting their turn and are good about that.

Anyway, the car wash is loads of fun for kids. It is especially fun if you take a little kid that has not ever been to one. It is  a great activity for under 10 dollars and the car gets clean too!

I felt good getting out in the nice weather. I can’t stay out in the sun too long because the antibiotics I am on say no sun. But a little bit of sun and nice temperature on my skin helped my mood…but not as much as that little kid laughing her head off!

Sunset Yesterday Photography

Yesterday my 12 year old daughter and I were out shopping for bunny food at Walmart. This bunny is so spoiled that he will only eat this particular kind of bunny food.

I tried to buy him the cheap brand that had no colored things in it one time.

He tipped the bowl up just so that it went up to the edge of the cage, facing outways. He got just the right angle that dumped all of the food out of the cage, right through the spaces in the gate and onto the floor.

It was funny and surprising, He usually dumps out his food because he does not like it in the bowl. He dumps it into the middle of his cage and eats it. This time it  was a very deliberate method of making sure all the food landed outside of the cage.

(You see this bunny? He is peaking around right now, to see what I am up to. I am sitting on the floor with the laptop and he is making sure I am behaving)

So, anyway…we were at the Walmart than carries his brand.. It is really cool because the picture on the front of the food looks just like my bunny. It is the same color and everything.

So…back to the story…

When we came outside of the store, the sun was setting….

How to Duct Tape Your Wiper Blades…? In the Middle of a Snowstorm?

Snow was falling swiftly as I cautiously made my way to drive my teenage daughter to her doctor appointment. Just as we were  pulling up to the traffic light at the last turn, the windshield wiper blade broke. I said a few words my daughter does not usually hear me say…D$amn Sh*&^t ,,,

She asked why it was bad and I explained to her that it is not possible to drive without a wiper (on the driver’s side, no less) because the snow will fill up and cover the windshield, making it impossible to see what is front of you.

She asked what we would do and I told her that this was the time for creative ingenuity and “thinking outside the box” which luckily I am good at.

I am not so good with fitting in with the  crowd of figuring out the social norms, etc, but I can think outside the box and work with whatever resources are available to me, that other people might not see.

I told her we would go into the doctor appt because the wiper blade would not get any worse and it was already broken. An hour of it sitting just the way it is, should be fine.

I failed however to google the weather report. I should have actually cancelled the appt and taken care of the wiper blade ASAP.

So, as I was sitting in the waiting room, I formulated my plan. I was aware that there is a dollar store, walking distance from where the doctor office is. We could go there and buy supplies and rig that thing on. We only had to drive about 2 miles up the hill, to get to the auto parts store and there we could get assistance.

Not to brag but usually if I smile at the guy in the store nicely they fix things for me. (pretty good for 48 years old ❤ ) I was pleasantly surprised the last time I went to Home Depot that the 2 of the men were wanting to assist me. One of them was saying it was his section. I heard the other one say that he had seen me first, so he had first dibs.

It was really cute for guys in their 50’s to be arguing over who would wait on the blonde 48 year old lady in jeans and a sweater. So, that was nice. I rarely get an ego boost like that. But I digress…

Since I was inside the building, I was unaware of what was occurring outside. About a half an hour into my daughter’s appointment, the receptionist got a call from the supervisor that the office was going to close and to call the patients at home and tell them to reschedule their appointments. The snow weather was taking a turn for the worse.

I had to wait another 15 minutes and they sent my daughter out to me. Time to get moving.

We got outside and it was obvious that the roads were getting bad. We wrapped up our heads with scarves and began walking to make our way to the dollar store. Once inside the store, we shook the snow off our shoes and asked the lady at the counter if they carried duct tape.

She told me to turn around and low and behold there was an entire shelf, piled high with rolls of duct tape. Halleluja ! Score ! I grabbed the duct tape, a pair of scissors and a cheep shower curtain. Why, you ask?

We walked back to the car and got to work. I cleaned the snow off the car, while Delenn worked on opening the packages and removing our tools.

I said to her “We have the technology. We have the tools. We have the duct tape !” 

By this point there was another problem. Because I have raynaud’s syndrome, my hands cannot tolerate the cold and the wet cold is the worse kind!

They first become numb at the extremities and useless to do anything, since I cannot feel my fingertips. Then is they are not brought to heat quickly, they will become extremely painful! So, I ran back into the car and warmed them on the heating vents.

Then we went out together. My daughter, the duct tape, the scissors and the shower curtain ! We got to work. I slid the wiper blade onto the arm and balanced it there. The clip was broken so it was just kind of hanging there. I held the shower curtain over top of my daughter’s work area.

I instructed her to dry the place where we were going to tape it. We had a towel for that. I held the curtain overtop so that it would not get wet and interfere with the tape.

She wrapped the tape once and then one more piece.  It had to done exactly at the joint where the screw was supposed to be. To tape too far over would force the blade not to move, where it was supposed to be loose and possible cause the wiper motor to overheat.

We were done. It was taped together and it looked like it might possible hold together for a few miles.

It was the moment of truth! We got into the car and I sat for a minute and said a prayer. Then I slid the lever that works the wipers. It worked ! It held and it cleaned the window. There was no time to waste; the snow was turning into ice.

We drove very slowly, in second gear up the road to the auto parts store. I turned into the driveway. It was a tire store. It used to be an auto parts store and now it had changed. The ice got louder and I could here it making noises on the car roof. We were running out of time.

The guy in the tire store tried to put the wiper blade on for me, after he pried off all the duct tape. He thought it was “inventive” and laughed a little.

The blade was not going to go back on. as hard as he tried to do it. He instructed me to go right away. across the street to where the auto parts store had moved.

Finally we got the blade replaced and we were on our way. The guy in the auto parts store was amazed when I told him that the duct taped blade worked for me, for 2 miles up the road to get there. Mama had saved the day, but now we still had to get home.

Crawling in 2nd gear, even 1st gear a few times, we made our way the 4 miles to our house. I was so glad to arrive home safely.

That is my story and I’m sticking to it!

Annie

This Has Been All I Have Heard for 2 Days! Buy Me Chocolate !!!!