mental illness, self-help

Mountain Meditation


Imagine your feet planted strongly

Balanced evenly on the ground

On a powerful mountain top

Gentle wind rushes by your face

The feeling is exhilarating

To your nervous system

As each nerve responds to the last

Like a domino effect

Creating a symphony

Throughout your entire body

As you feel the weight

Of the souls of your feet

Firmly grounded on the earth and rock

The living spirit of the mountain

And earth

Flows up into your legs

There is a tingling of energy

Both natural and spiritual

Flowing upward and

Creating heat and powerful force

Within you

That extends beyond your fingertips

As you feel this energy growing

You realize that your feet

Have lifted

Ever so slightly

Off the ground

Almost invisible to the naked eye

But no longer are you

Touching the earth

As you enjoy the sensations

That are flowing through you

You begin to notice a voice rising up

From the back of your mind

As your conscious mind becomes quieter

Your subconscious brain lights up

With activity and

You can access the most powerful

Parts of yourself as your

Higher spiritual self whispers

Into your mind

You notice all at once

The wind blowing across your face

The sensation of your breath

As you draw in both oxygen

And energy from the worlds

Both natural and spiritual

Your feet float gently down

To the earth and you

Feel the sensation of the

Mountain’s great power

And realize that it’s greatness

Exists because of you

Your awareness

Your power

And your consciousness

That the mountain

Is always created by you

And only exists

Because you wanted it to

energy light hands

buddhism, emotional abuse, emotional healing, emotional wounds, empowerment, enlightenment, healing from narcissistic abuse, health and wellness, mental illness

Colors Guided Meditation

Relax your body

Feel your shloulders and neck muscles relaxing

Feel the muscles in you face release and allow all facial expression to rest

Especially those small muscles around your mouth, lips and jaw

Relax your chest and feel the beating of your heart become slower and more even

Like a soft drum ever so gently thumping a rhythm for your ears to hear

Notice as your nervous system begins to respond sympathetically to the slow beating of your heart

As you begin to relax even deeper, you can begin to recognize the beautiful energy fields flowing all around you

As you feel the weight of your body sinking deeper towards the ground, you realize that you can breath in the lavendar, indigo or gold colored energies around you

As you notice that you are sinking deeper into a state of trance, you can breath deeply the color of the energy field that best supports you

Draw that color into your body and notice the feeling of that energy filling you all the way to the tips of your toes and fingertips

Draw the color into you and you will notice the energy is calming you and energizing you at the same time

Exhale a different color

This is the color of negative feelings and any bad energies that others have put into you

As you feel your toes tingle from the positive energies on the inhale…

Draw all the negative energies from inside of your body and exhale them to send them out of you

You can see the color of this negative energy and notice that the color varies on the exhales

As your body becomes even more relaxed, you realize these bad energies are no longer serving you

And it is okay to let them leave

You notice tngling energy in your shoulders, neck and you begin to have a deeper sensation of the calming , healing energies that are drawn into your body with each breath

And you feel safe letting the negative, bad energies leave you

As you become filled with the beautiful color that you feel all around you, you realize that these energies are always around you

You just have to relax and notice and observe them

Breath in the energizing colors

And exhale the negative ones

Inhale through your nose

Exhale through your mouth , releasing these sick energy build ups from your chest

You can continue until you feel you have released everything you needed to







#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic personality disorder, abusive relationships, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, healing from abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, mental illness

Love the Loving

love the loving

Love the loving people. Share your kindness and love with people who are able to love and care for people. Waste not your loving energies on people who cannot love others. 

Show compassion for those who have compassion and are capable of empathy with others. Loving people will fill your energies, rather than drain them. 

The energy exchange between two loving people will raise both of them up to a higher consciousness level. You will feel like a part of them has been added to you. This will not cause them to lose anything. 

Being kind and loving to another person who have love and compassion, will add part of yourself to them. They will carry part of you with them, but this will not cause you to lose anything. 

If you feel you are being drained bu someone, be careful not to lose yourself in them. If this is a person incapable of empathy and compassion, then they will take from you and not give anything back. 

narcissistic abuse meme rebuild

Share your kindness and your special spiritual gifts with other who are special. It will uplift you and you will feel your love for all living things growing inside you.

Holding resentment for someone who abused you can be like a dark hole inside of you. Sharing love with loving people can help to fill this darkness with light. The more light you carry with you, the more it will surround you. Others will feel the warmth of this light that is being generated by your spirit.

abusive relationships, addiction, affirmations, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, anxiety, arthritis, depression, emotional abuse, emotional trauma, emotional wounds, empowerment, enlightenment, fibromayalgia, healing, Healing after abuse, health and wellness, Healthy lifestyle, mental illness

Take a Walk with me….




Skin pealing


Back pain


Hang nails


Pink eye


Hair loss

Things our higher spiritual self does not have to deal with.

No wonder we become distracted, redirected and forgetful about being in touch with our higher consciousness level selves.

We can’t even call them on the cell phone, never mind ask them to relate to what we go through.

Getting into a higher level state requires detaching from our ¬†physical selves. It is like ignoring the squeakiest wheel. ….and as we know, the squeaky wheel gets the attention.

We can have wonderful intentions of growing towards a higher consciousness level and then we develop some new pain or disorder…whether mental or physical.

We are subjected to all manner of mind control and persuasion techniques by society and the manipulators within it. And our bodies take more and more of a beating as we age.

Beating yourself up over not being able to get yourself out of your physical self and into a spiritual state, is another beating you should not have to endure.

It is effectually a beating of the consciousness by the consciousness…

A beating of the sub conscious by the sub conscious….

A beating of the mind by itself.

It is a paradox that you must accept the pains without the ego being involved because becoming one with higher consciousness means letting go of and identity with the self….yet repressing feelings about suffering only makes the suffering grow.

So we have to accept the inner child in order to heal…accept suffering as part of existing in the physical realm….sit with our pain to comfort it to ease it….walk through painful experiences to get to the light on the other side….and detach from the ego and identifying with our identity in order to achieve a higher consciousness…..

Yet in detaching from our ego we are acknowledging our identity with it… we first have to recognize the ego as a construct that is heavily influenced by brainwashing, false beliefs programmed into us, and manipulative people with their own agendas to serve..

We then can understand that many of our automatic ¬†thoughts and attachments come out of this programming. …making the majority of the tapes running in our subconscious mind basically bad viruses…..and our conscious negative thoughts results of the viruses…..

Then we can begin to understand that We Are Not Our Thoughts….

Once we begin to accept that we are not our thoughts, we can open the subconcious mind to new formatting….better programming….we can alter and add new beliefs…and delete contaminated beliefs…..

A new understanding begins to arise at the back of our brains where those core beliefs are housed….that if our thoughts are not us, then we can observe our thoughts and evaluate their validity….

Holding onto beliefs that no longer serve us is not neccessary. We will not simply stop being ourselves by changing our core beliefs. It is the attachment to those addictive beliefs and thought patterns that keeps us controlled by others….and by our physical existance…..

We are not, in fact, the sum of our thoughts. We can rearrange the furniture in our brains that we call our thoughts. Rearranging the furniture, throwing out old pieces, adding new pieces that better serve our house….

The house remains, even when the things inside are altered.

So who is doing the altering and rearranging? It is not our physical selves….It is not our thoughts that are observing themselves….

Once we begin to realize this, then we catch a glimpse of what is doing the observing….It is not within the brain or the physical body….

It is that higher self…the higher consciousness….that can be awakened to observe and repair the subconscious …where suffering is at its roots….

Thoughts about suffering seem to create more suffering…and fear that the suffering will get worse….or continue to last is the root of the most painful mental and physical suffering.

Yet somehow you are beginning to suspect the most curious thing of all….that by entering this kind of trance….the one you have allowed your mind to enter while reading this….you were able to detach from your physical suffering for a few minutes…..

And so we took the journey together….just you and I….in a higher realm of consciousness….






adult children of narcissistic abuse', adult children of narcissistic parents, anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, c-ptsd, chronic fatigue, chronic illness, chronic pain, Chronic pain and depression, Chronic pain and mental illness, healing from abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, health, health and wellness, mental illness

Physical Pain Should be Paid Attention To

Headaches, muscle aches, numbness, chest tightness, fatigue and weakness….

Insomnia, nervousness, trouble focusing your mind, trouble resting and relaxing….

Trouble eating, weight gain, extreme weight loss, chronic bowel problems, chronic pain….

People struggle through each day, dragging themselves out of bed. Dreading waking up in the morning, to endure another day of trying to keep other people from complaining.

Our reptilian brain ( triunal brain theory) is designed to protect us. The main function of this part of your brain is to protect you from danger. It is primal and the over-riding primal drive is for survival.

Anything the reptilian brain sees as a threat gets sent to the “fight or flight” system. This is where the amygdala activates the process of chemicals being sent throughout your body.

These chemicals include adrenaline and cortisol. The fight or flight mode was never designed for constant or continuos activation.

Stress filled lifestyle and anxiety disorders cause too much cortisol to be sent into the body , too often. This has detrimental affects on nearly every system in your body.

As you are reading this, you are thinking of your life and how a typical day goes for you. But that is the problem. ….

Society is so brainwashed that the phrase “how a typical day goes for you” makes sense and seems like a normal thing to say.

We should be able to compose our days, like a musical composer creates a symphony. We should have more freedom and more power to make our days the way we want them to be.

You should be spending your time thinking of new ideas, new concepts, new methods and original techniques to do things.

There is too much emphasis on “the way things have always been done.”

There are too many restrictions on our individuality, and our ability to try new ways to do things.

The “original thinkers” ¬†are considered weird, non-compliant and “difficult,” even when their ideas are ingenious.

We are pressured to follow the ways of those who came before us, and the ways dictated by the ¬†“powers that be.”

All of this ….forcing people into routines… and making us run on automatic pilot, has consequences.

….stress, anxiety disorders, depression, pain in both the body and the mind.

The body is what your spirit inhabits. Your soul has been assigned to live within this body .  But your body is not all of who you are, nor is it detached  from who you are.

Have you ever driven someplace, only to come to consciousness while you are driving, and not know where you are for a few seconds? Have you ever passed the turn to your destination because you had gone into a trance-like state while you were driving?

We were not designed to live in “automatic pilot” ¬†mode …existing merely to repeat the same dull, or painful routines every day.

Even animals vary their routines. They adapt with their environment and respond to the needs of their bodies.

Your aches, pains and chronic fatigue are telling you that something is wrong. These are like emotions of the body.

Our emotions and our pains are speaking to us. If we cannot listen, and make changes….alter our patterns of living, then we will eventually develop illness and didease.

Listen to your pain and to your physical discomfort. Your body is trying to integrate with your mind, emotions and your soul. It is letting you know that the parts of your being are fractured.

Psychological problems manifest in the body. Physical illness and disease will cause psychological and mental pain. Our emotions tie everything together.

Be kind and compassionate with yourselves, and to others. There is no meaningless pain. It is all significant.





anxiety, depression, mental health, mental illness, philosophy, photography, spirituality

Fall Drive to See the Colorful Trees – See Things from a Different Angle

fall trees drivefall tree

fall trees 3fall trees 4


My daughter loves nature and photography. She is 12 years old and has am anxiety disorder. One of the ways I try to help her is to take her for a drive and give her my cell phone camera to take pictures. 

She is getting better and better at photography. She is able to see the art in the nature. As you can see from these photos, she is experimenting with getting different and unusual angles. 

I like these interesting angles. It is a reminder that it is often good to look at things from a completely different point of view. The pictures look different that way because you were not conditioned to tip your head and see things slanted or sideways. 

Sometimes if we have a problem that we cannot seem to figure out…there does not seem to be any answer…we feel trapped… is time to tip our heads and look at the situation from a different frame….a different point of view….

….even the point of view of the person involved…..If we can see things from inside of their head then we can know better what to say and what will get them to make choices that are the best for everyone. .,,,

…Or to see yourself in a different frame….one that shows your true self worth and value….one that does not mirror the identity that others have forced upon you for the benefit of their own agenda.¬†

You are beautiful because of WHO you are not what you do right or what you think you do wrong. Sometimes things seem wrong because others convince you they are. Try to detach yourself from the beliefs that others have imposed upon you and get in touch with what you really think and feel. 

There is a matrix that you are living in that makes you think that certain thoughts you have are your own. If you can detach from the matrix brainwashing and get into a state of mind that can access your real self, then you can see what really matters. 

You matter and your feelings matter. If you follow the rule that Teal Swan suggests, “What would someone who loves themselves do?” …you will be able to make choices that are more supportive and create an environment for yourself that supports you.¬†

Being forced to follow what the matrix tells you can violate your own integrity and values. This can cause depression and anxiety disorders. Part of the matrix is that you are trained to feel obligated to certain people such as family and friends. 

You are supposed to be a “good daughter” a “good son” ..a “good supportive wife”….”a good sister”…even when the person acts in ways that injure you….or makes you follow along with things that go against your real values.¬†

You need to clean off the veil that keeps you from seeing things the way you were meant to see them…the way that supports your well being without judgement of your actions.

Blessings and Love,

Annie ‚̧

anxiety, depression, emotional abuse, emotional healing, empowerment, goals, inspirational, life, life coach for narcissistic abuse, life coaching online, mental illness, social anxiety, spirituality

You are Beautiful Just as You are Right Now !

you are beautiful

You have innate self worth and you are beautiful right now.

You can make changes, learn new things and progress towards a goal any way you desire to, but your innate beauty and self worth are fully in tact right now at this minute.

Other creatures like bunnies are beautiful just the way they are and they do not need to change or grow or do anything in particular in order for us to see the beauty and value in them.

bunny pink flowers

image from pinterest

The trees are beautiful just as they are at any stage of growth. Their special value is in their beauty and their unique presence.


image from pinterest

tress yellow

image from pinterest

Babies are born and they are beautiful.

baby with bow

They cannot do anything to contribute to the household other than just to be there. They cannot do anything for people but strangers come up to them in the store and want to see them.

There is an innate beauty in life and in living things because of the spiritual nature of life itself.  The possibilities for the new baby are endless. 

People sometimes feel they envy the baby and the endless possibilities it has to become anything it wants to become. But you can still become anything you want to become. Your possibilities are still available to you of you can see reality as less rigid than the matrix you perceive it to be. 

You have an inner beauty as well as an outer beauty. There is no path you can take which will add or subtract from the spiritual being that you are. 

You can follow whatever values that you have and your beliefs can change along the path as you need them to better serve you.

 It does not change the fact that you are beautiful right now, and your self worth in perfect, even more than you can imagine. 

Imagine what wonderful things you can do once you accept your value and see the wonderful qualities in yourself !

emotional abuse, empowerment, Healing after abuse, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, self love, self-esteem, self-help, spirituality, Toxic shame

Your Possibilities are Greater than You Think

There is no one quite like you. You are unique in many ways. You are a spiritual being that is existing in the body you are inhabiting.

You could have made different choices that may have sent you on a slightly different path. You may have ended up at a different job or with different people if you had made different moves on the chess board.

You still would have been the same being. Your values may be re-prioritized as you grow and learn. There are no paths that change you from who you were born as into a completely different spiritual being.

You have no way to know how things would have turned out if you had made different choices because life is unpredictable and you cannot control others.

There is no need to feel bad over decisions that you think sent you away from the “right” path. You have no way to know what would have happened or if it would not have been worse.

Even things you feel that you really screwed up….you don’t really know that it would have been the way you picture it to be if you had not done that.

It does not serve you to hold shame and guilt about the past. You are still on your journey either way.

Your story is not completed. Often there are many paths that lead to the same place.

Any one decision from your past could have sent you a different way that could have landed you somewhere similar eventally…or somewhere worse depending on the events that could have followed that decision.

Life is full of unknowns and there are many things you cannot control…such as other people.

Memories tend to deceive us anyway. They are images and feelings that are filtered through our perception at the time …in addition to our current perception.

But the memories are missing information that we did not have such as what another person was really thinking or feeling.

You may regret ending a relationship and you are sure that you lost the best thing that will ever come your way. But you do not know for sure what the other person was thinking or what they would have been feeling a year from then.

These are all unknowns. Memories can deceive us because our brains fill in missing information. The story we create about what would have happened is just that….a story.

Life is in the present. We are affected by our past experiences and what meaning that our brains attach to those experiences.

Being in the present without carrying shame and guilt is the best way to be able to experience our spiritual selves to the fullest extent.

We are not who we are because of the things we have done. The things we did were based on what was happening at the time.

We had certain meaning attached to the things that were happening. We may not even be in touch with that meaning anymore.

We do not really fully remember exactly how we felt at that time. Many details are forgotten over time, including what triggers may have been occurring and what fears we may have been feeling at that moment.

Carrying shame and guilt over our past decisions is unfair you ourselves. It only serves to lower your self esteem and interferes with your ability to make decisions that are good for you now.

Judgement of ourselves is bad enough when it is done by others. When other people hold anger and judgement about us it is from their own perception of the past.

Just like us, their memories are bits of pictures and feelings with much of the information being filled in by their own brain which tells a story.

Details that are unknown to them, such as how you felt and what was happening in your subconscious mind, are missing from their information…so they make things up to fill in the holes.

Much of what they project onto you comes from their own perception and is wrong. So their jugdement of you is coming from a flawed reality of what really happened.

Do not carry other people’s judgement of your past as your true past. It is not true reality. You are not able to reach your possibilities if you are carrying these things with you.

You are the same spiritual being that was born. Your decisions and choices seemed neccassary at the time. They are in the past now.

Allow yourself to lift this weight from yourself. You will be able to be there for the people in your life right now, in a much more meaningful way, if you can be yourself and accept that you have innate worth.

You were born with worth and your past does not change that. We spend too much energy carrying memories that are convoluted anyway.

Your life is here and now. It does not matter how you ended up here. How you got where you are is no indication of where you can go and what possibilities your life holds for you.

Past limitations are just shadows. You have much more potetial than you realize yet. Just allow for the possibility that you can do greater things than you can imagine right now.

There is great power in allowing for possibiities and not limiting yourself based on what you think you remember doing in the past.

Your possibilities are full and your value is still for you to discover.



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